Until you show these people that you are NOT fooling around and you will follow through with exactly what you say, they will continue to stomp on you.
I understand you need your H for childcare and I am sure that adds many layers of stress. But things like supporting the family or caring for the children are not optional and cannot be "made right" by bringing you lunch.
If you set boundaries and your H chooses not to honor them you will have to step it up and explore your options legally. Acting like an ass is one thing, failing to support the children by not depositing money in the account is another.
so i keep batting around me filing. it's not what i want and it is like he is waiting for me to file. it's like how long can he go without filing. we just seem to have power struggles.
i don't think he brought food to make it right, but you know i really have no clue.
since last thursday his comment was what do we have to talk about, i just ignore him, i don't speak to him, he asks questions about the dog, kids and i just ignore him. trying a new strategy.
I have explored the legal aspect, h knows that he really has no leg to stand on in court.
ok so boundaries: if you continue to provide your work schedule late i will?????
if you continue to neglect your financial responsibilities ina timely mannaer, i will???
if you continue in your illegal lifestyle i will.....
if we continue to be married legally without you acting like a husband i will.....
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
4pm comes and goes, i wait 15 minutes. i left work, called from pay phone(i don't have a phone)tell him to take kids to my house
i forgot my breast pump so i had to turn around, another 20 minutes passes, i call him when i get back at work and picked up breast pump.
he is screaming and yelling at me, i say if you continue with the yelling name calling i will hang up, he continues i hang up. he reaches my work another 15 minutes later. ask him why he didn't show, he says he did, he did not, as he is putting kids in car, he is saying tuesday i have to deliever kids to his house he can't get d3 to school, he drives off
i go to payphone, i say if he's working then arrangements can be made, if it is for anything else, then he is refusing to care for the children.
he says he's flying to texas, for work, no, he's going on vacation. then he says he has to go to court, so i say ok provide the documents taht you have to go to court, keep in mind he lies about everything. so he then says anytime there is a problem i have to sign something and that is what his attorney says i have to do. i state, i do not have to sign anything.
he is saying oh i have no time to talk about this, he is being smug and an ass$$%. end of convo.
should i respond via facebook(that is how we communicate) something that i am glad you have an attorney, now we can get things settled and legal, please provide me his/her name so i can give it to mine. i don't have one, yet...
more then likely he will say just give me yours....
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
No, do not respond with FB. E-mail everything. Everything. Keep it all documented. Stop with these phone calls if at all possible, turn them into e-mails also. Documented. Obviously you know that he is lying, get it on paper.
in 5 years of knowing him i do not have an email address for him, when i send it thru FB, it is via a msg so it is documented.
so should it be provide atty name number or should i be more, oh i'm sorry there was a mix up in the comminucation, i would have called earlier having forgotten my breast pump, but since you disconnected the phone service....
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
so i left a vm, apologizing for not being able to call him to tell him that had to turn around could not make it to my house but if he had not turned off my cell i would have been able to.
i also stated until i have something in writing i will continue with the same pick up s and drop offs.
i asked for his attorney's contact info and told him to respond in writing.
i am thinking he has paid a paralegal to prepare the papers to file for divorce. so i should just accept it? meaning he does not want me?
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
I agree with all of this. Have you consulted an attorney? If not, you should. You don't need to accept it if you don't want too. Continue DB'ing if you want too. You can not change his mind for him though. You can only change yourself, and can only GAL for yourself. Make yourself a better person that he would want to be with, and if he doesn't want to, you will still be a better person for yourself in the end.
