GW, you are soooooo right! A WAW who has been in an A cannot depend upon her heart to make her decisions. She must rely upon what is the right thing to do. If she is a Christian or just a very moral person (at least before the A), she has some kind of concept at what is "right". I had to ignore my heart for quite some time, before the brain and emotions came together.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Now if I could just a way to say this and convince my own W of this...then I'd be getting somewhere! HA!
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Ok... Hoping that purchase won't show details on our credit card! Have been reading some other things today... Rough day... 2 rejections from H. Now says he doesn't want to go to that event Sunday with me. . Geesh, it may take a 2x4 to get his attention!!!
Better get that lumber ready. I think it will take a 2x4 and maybe more than one swing. But you can do this!
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Ok! A glimmer if progress... Just asked H if he would read "Five Love Languages" w/ me... At first hemmed and hawed, then I said "Yeah, it took (my friend) leaving her H for 3 months to get (friend's H) to read it".
THAT got his attention. (He had just finished telling me about a colleague at work who dropped dead yesterday at 51, going through a bad divorce.)
well, my hints are getting more direct... Maybe there is hope???
Ok! A glimmer if progress... Just asked H if he would read "Five Love Languages" w/ me... At first hemmed and hawed, then I said "Yeah, it took (my friend) leaving her H for 3 months to get (friend's H) to read it".
THAT got his attention. (He had just finished telling me about a colleague at work who dropped dead yesterday at 51, going through a bad divorce.)
well, my hints are getting more direct... Maybe there is hope???
That's good Time! At the risk of sounding like a broken record though, I would do away with "hints" all together...And just tell him flat out how much you're struggling and what you NEED from him.
=O)
M: 29, W: 28 Together 8 years, Married 1 (5/16/09) Bomb (LYBNILWY)4/22/10 Affair discovered 5/3/10, began Jan/Feb 2010 Separated 5/22/10 - Present Affair exposed 7/7/10 No children
That's good Time! At the risk of sounding like a broken record though, I would do away with "hints" all together...And just tell him flat out how much you're struggling and what you NEED from him.
Hi Time, I'd agree with that it's awesome you're starting to speak up. Wahoo on that! Sounds like you're feeling pretty adverse to being very direct with him. Maybe before jumping in with both feet you might want to give that fact some thought. What do you think is behind that? Is that fairly characteristic of yours and his communication with one another? If so, why do you think that is? What are you afraid of?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
. Geesh, it may take a 2x4 to get his attention!!!
Sounds like you're feeling pretty adverse to being very direct with him. Maybe before jumping in with both feet you might want to give that fact some thought. What do you think is behind that? Is that fairly characteristic of yours and his communication with one another? If so, why do you think that is? What are you afraid of?