Today was a very difficult day. A day I never imagined would happen. After 4 years of not speaking - I picked up the phone and called my ex. And he came.
My disabled son, Ryan, was rushed to hospital with seizures and possible pneumonia. He was put on life support. The doctor actually suggested I might consider a DO NOT RESUSITATE! I asked him if he was serious and told him I did not think things were at that stage. He told me that Ryan might not make it.
So, as much as I've had 9 years of anger and hostility and abuse with my ex - I phoned him. Ryan is his son. I know he loves him. He deserved to know.
He was crying when he arrived (so was I) and he hugged me. And he was good when Josh arrived shortly after. I had told him to come alone. After all - his wife was OW - Josh was not any OM.
He stayed for hours and not one bad word was said. Josh and he even talked about work and cars etc. My brother and sister thought it was strange - they had not seen him in 9 years! Ashley said she never thought that day would come.
Ryan is ok - but still in critical condition in the ICU and we have a long road ahead. I promised to keep him informed. I hope OW does not give him a hard time about including her. That will be awkward.
Anyway - long overdue I guess but I'm glad this ice was brokern.
When I woke up yesterday morning I could not have imagined how things were going to change so much. I lived through this all 26 years ago when he first got brain damage and was in a coma in ICU for 6 weeks. I just had no idea we would end up there again. And what a way to suddenly have Chuck back in my life. I sure give him credit for not freaking out. (well, yet anyway). Ashley said last night - "geez Mom - I was sure dad was going to start yelling at everyone and freaking out on the doctors". Normally I would have hesitated to let him know for just that reason but not this time. And I don't regret my decision.
Thinking about Chuck and Josh talking about their jobs and cars and all. Just feels like some weird, creepy dream I had.
(((((Barb))))). So sorry to hear about Ryan. I hope that he will be ok. I have only been divorced a couple of years and I must say I am surprised that I can carry on conversations with my ex. He isn't my friend but when it comes to the kids, we manage to leave the garbage at the door.
I hope that you can find a peaceful balance with Chuck and that he finds a way to make amends with his kids.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Barb, you're right, sometimes crisis changes everything when the focus is shifted from hurt and resentment to what's important. Sending my prayers and well wishes to you and Ryan.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Hey Barb Was happy to hear better news this a.m with Ryan! Thank God!
Yes weird when that ice is broken isnt it? mine was broken a while back when ex got fired and then w/ his move, I think he realized then, that he dealt with things in a very bad manner- dosnt regret leaving, its just not in him to love, but the way he did, I believe he is sorry.
I am sure Chuck sees how you take care of Ryan and the kids and must respect you for that, he knows they are safe and well loved with you. I hope Ryan makes a speedy recovery !!
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
