Summer: You are right on the money. I think Chuck always wanted to be a hero (deep inside) but I was always the responsible one who always did the right thing and I called all the shots. I never gave him the opportunity. I had been through so much with him and it was so nasty that I didn't want him to be able to be near me to hurt me anymore.
But this opened the door. I was a bit afraid of how to handle it. I was afraid he was going to lose control, yell at doctors, belittle my care, try to take control but he has truly risen to the occasion. He has been there every day and he has not tried to override me at all. And his help is important. It is exhausting to be there but it is also very difficult to leave when I know that my son will be alone. It's just the mom guilt thing.
Every situation needs a hero. I'm glad Chuck chooses to be one.
As for maggot - I will be she is chewing nails. I think that is funny. If she is being her typical self - she has not doubt bugged him to include her. But as you say - he has either put his foot down or she doesn't have the same kind of spell over him.
I think his approach to the kids recently about them accepting her and coming for dinner was a real eye opener for him. Because, despite his repeated statements 9 years ago "The kids will bounce back" - nobody did any bouncing. They will NEVER get past this totally. And they once again told him that if he was with someone different - things with them would be different too.
Hmmmm - you just never know. And to ice my cake - he has had to sit there and watch Josh with me, with Ashley and conversing with the nurses and my siblings. And he has taken the "if you can't beat him, join him" attitude by chatting with him. Interesting...
Well you knew deep inside Chuck had some good, you married him, you saw something, thats what I use to say when my ex and I got into it, I actually see that again in him now, its much nicer to be cordial and dare I say, friendly for our kids sakes at least, no matter the age of our kids, I am glad he is being nice!
Keep posting updates Barb, we are all concerned and think about you often!
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Karen - I thought the nice Chuck was long lost. Even the reports from the kids confirmed that. But maybe he was just bitter about everything that happened. Or maybe he just knows that he has one shot to get this right.
I'm even surprised at myself. I don't stress about running into him. I don't anticipate what either of us will say or do. I put all my energy into Ryan and he is there for all the right reasons too.
GOOD NEWS!!!! Ryan is starting to wake up. His eyes are open and he is less groggy. No seizures. Trying to wean him off respirator again. Hoping things continue this way.
Glad he's turning the corner. (((((((Hugs))))))