So far, it's all about the same. I haven't been pursuing for the past two months. She does appear to be respecting my request, however; I haven't seen nor heard from her since yesterday.
She needs the space to process her feelings into thoughts. Love her enough to let her think about what she is doing. All the while you become the best man you can - catnip. Be Sir Gawain.
Good call Coach. I had studied that period of English literature in college, but had not read that story until now. The answer to the quest: "women wish to have their own will."
What kind of time line are we talking about? I've already made plans to deliver a sailboat from Panama to Mexico in February. The trip will likely take about 3 months. She had indicated that she wanted to meet with me at various ports along the way (she would fly). She brought the subject up, again, at our last meeting. I told her that it was still two months away and much could change in that time.
Would this be an opportunity for her to pursue?
So be the choice for her young Gawain.
Make plans for the entire trip. Arrange, schedule, surprise her.
Have a plan. Fill it with things you know she likes to do.
Restaurants, sight seeing, whatever that may be.
Don't tell her. Surprise her when you meet at the ports.
Meanwhile stay cool and mysterious. When she asks about it, tell her that are working on the arrangements to get your boat relocated. That you will tell her when everything is in place.
Flying to exotic locations to meet her husband every few weeks for romantic adventures and returning home to nest with her new lover sounds like quite a nice arrangement for her.
Flying to exotic locations to meet her husband every few weeks for romantic adventures and returning home to nest with her new lover sounds like quite a nice arrangement for her.
Maybe. You stated your position, she understands why - let it be.
It's an incredible opportunity for you. Get excited, start posting your intinerary on FB with videos of the locations your are stopping in. Tell your male friends to come down and visit. Be "the most interesting man in the world." Come up with a name for your adventure. You plan your trip and keep her in the loop. She lost the privilege of being involved by spending time with another man. You are the Captain of this ship.
Quote:
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Flying to exotic locations to meet her husband every few weeks for romantic adventures and returning home to nest with her new lover sounds like quite a nice arrangement for her.
How do you feel about it?
Exactly, more of the same crap. I'm not going to spend my time and energy thinking about making things fun and interesting for her. How will I feel when, for some reason, she can't make it and cancels at the last minute? No, she can read about all the fun I'm having instead.
I think I'll keep a journal and write an interesting report every week or two. I can include her in a general email that goes out to my long list of friends. She can sit around board with OM and question her decisions. This is my life and she chose not to be a part of it.
Congratulations! When the right time comes, even the words come easy. I too having dropped the rope recently have realized how letting go actually gives you power. Now the power my H had over me is gone, he knows that I am no longer afraid of him leaving me, that I can stand alone. In your case, I hope your WAW will realize soon enough what she will be missing and come round.
The dignity and self respect you gain actually alleviates the pain.
I think the what happens next is the difficult part. Be strong and keep posting.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
"I was going to ___________, but you ____________, so now I won't." My H used it too.
Your mileage may vary, but my H pursued me and wanted to reconcile about 2 weeks after I really dropped the rope and was focused on what was next. I was busy, I was genuinely happy, and I knew that whatever happened with H, I would be okay. Getting to that place was tough, but once I did, there was such peace in my life over my sitch.
Go out, GAL, learn to have fun and love yourself. Find your happiness, because whether or not your W and you reconcile, ONLY YOU are responsible for YOUR happiness...and W for hers.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
