"Interesting how the hurt spouses remained anonymous. Understandable, considering the nature of the story. But a feature like this deserves a look from the other perspective. There's really nothing honorable about what happened here. Honest, yes. Truthful, sure. But this story is not primarily about finding true love. The underlying story is about broken promises, unfaithfulness, and disloyalty."
Comment #13
"The notions of "Vows" has a deliciously ironic depth of meaning here - the ones they made, but the ones they felt less compelled to honor. I doubt very much there's not more than what is related here - What a rationalization as to why it's OK to "befriend" another family then break up two in one shot. "It was just love!" Methinks it's the selfishness that's big and noisy!"
Comment #19
"As a sad divorcee after many years of marriage, I can only say that there is value to loyalty and vows for life. There will always be someone more attractive, more interesting, someone with more sparkle. Marriage is about working to make a relationship have the depth and intimacy with your spouse to resist that fact. That is what you promise to do when you take those vows."
Comment #28
"I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that both Carol and John thought they were marrying their soulmates the first time around. The undeniable thrill of early love--especially if it's thwarted in the beginning--doesn't last under normal domestic conditions. I imagine that they will discover that about five years from now, when their new marriage loses its initial glow and becomes uncomfortably similar to their well-worn first marriages."
Several things about this REALLY irk me. I TOO recognized the EA. What? Doesn't the world understand the pain an Emotional Affair can cause????
And what about the children. Heck - I'd have LOVED to write an article for the newspaper about the painful things chuck and maggot did to me, to my children. But it is for the children's sake I did not air our dirty laundry for the world. These egotistical maniacs are just trying to legitimize something that is totally illegitimate!
And on the same note. This is just what my former employee did to me 18 months ago... the girl I was mentoring to buy my business when I eventually retired. I had taught her since she was 4! She just decided to open her own dance school despite signing a contract with me and agreeing to never teach MY students. She ran off with them - forcing me to close. And when I asked her about the contract she claimed I was threatening her. So there she is - in my face on Facebook, posting videos of HER dancers (every one from my school) - and telling people she can't understand why I didn't support her. WHAT? She did it behind my back!
So anyone can legitimize their bad behaviour. First they convince themselves and each other. Then they actually start to believe it and convince others and make out like WE are the crazy ones.
Sorry for the vent about my business but to me - it is all relative. Josh thinks the business crap is worse than the marriage stuff (but he is wrong).
It saddens me that we live in a disposable society. Aw, this isn't working right now, let's throw it out and get a new one. So few stop and think how long their spouse stood by them when they didn't think things were going so hot. I mean if I had that mentality, I would have been gone within 2 years!!
kat
Kat, what frightens me is that she never said that the marriage wasn't working. Something better came along! I remember saying to my wife "you're treating me like an old car, I'll just trade him in for a newer, shinier model" she said "that is insulting" and I replied "tough sh!t" Now, what happens when miss "I'll never forgive myself" in the article finds a newer shinier model which makes her feel oooh so good. Remember, adulterers usually repeat!
Yep, and as the tarnish wears off this "soulmate marriage" a new soulmate will come around for one of these bozos and they'll do the same thing again only this time to each other!
If you get a chance, watch the video of it on the Today show. It was quite interesting what even the psychologists had to say. I wonder where this couple will be in a few years.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The gist is that they were acting like teenagers, being in lust, never once heard them say that they worked on their marriages. The couple declined to be on the show(guess they didn't want to face the truth of how many raw nerves they sruck!).
They also said how they were in denial that the kids were doing great. It is a painful process to go through. I heard it this morning right before I came to work, but saw that the video is also on msn.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Her ex-husband, unsurprisingly, feels differently. "People lie and cheat and steal all the time. That's a fact of life. But rarely does a national news organization give them an unverified megaphone to whitewash it," Bob Ennis told Bercovici on Tuesday. He said he wasn't "contacted or interviewed or given any opportunity to opine on any of it, including having my 7-year-old daughter's picture in the paper." Ennis, described by Bercovici as "a media executive who has held high-level jobs at IAC and News Corp.," continued: "The idea that they'd fact-check a style story — I don't think that's incumbent on them. But there's a difference between that and publishing a choreographed, self-serving piece of revisionist history for two people who are both members of the media industry."
If these people were so tortured by the pain they were causing - they would have done what good people do. Agreed to no contact, gone to marriage counseling with their spouses, and tried to put their marriages back together. They thought enough of their spouses to have families with them - suddenly none of that matters when they get the hots for someone else?
No. I'm not saying people have to be "trapped" in unhappy marriages their whole lives - some people do make mistakes. But if it wasn't a "mistake" until something "better" came along??? Self-serving bullcrap. And more than that - COMPLETELY creepy to put their business out there in the NYT, completely insensitive to those spouses they claimed to feel guilty about hurting.
