Aw, hell, Golfgirl. I remember, not long after my ex left, I was out with my best friend and some much younger guys were chatting us up in a club. She told me later, the 32 year old guy said to her "That Ellie's got it going ON".
I took it as a nice compliment but clearly ridiculous at the time. Now, a year and a half later, I'm starting to think "What the hell? Why not??" Lol.
Well, the 33 year old is HERE in Colorado visiting family and he is really cute!
Then there's the 36 year old who contacted me last night. He was stranded at the airport and wanted some "company." NO, I did NOT go.....too snowy and too cold. But, in both cases, I'm extremely flattered.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I've got a coffee date for New Year's Day with a 42 year old - after all these youngsters, someone just TWELVE years younger is starting to look totally reasonable! Of course, guys all seem to lie about their ages online - maybe he'll turn out to be my age after all!
The problem I'm having is I don't look my age or act my age, yet many men around 50 look and act really old. Maybe that sounds bad, but I still want a HOT guy! Am I asking for too much???
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
EXACTLY my problem! WAAAAAY too many guys my age look like Santa Claus. And among the ones who still look good, many have never listened to any new music since college - they're not likely to stay out 'til 2 at a club seeing punk bands with me, are they?
But I'd really like a guy close to my own age, who is mentally and physically youthful. Short of that, I'd like a guy who is a bit younger but has already had his family, whose kids are teenagers or older, who is kinda at the same stage of life as me. (Whatever that is!)
Darn - the one boyfriend I did have (the one whose old college girlfriend snatched him away) was kinda perfect - three years older but no Santa Claus, into all kinds of new music and art, very smart, sexy. Oh yeah, but I forget - he was a depressed hermit of a guy too, lol. I want one without that part.
I'll be sure to report back about tomorrow's coffee date. We haven't spoken much so I don't really know a lot about him. We may not be compatible (he smokes "sometimes" and takes his religion somewhat seriously, according to his profile - I'm an adamant non-smoker and not fond of organized religions). But he's nice and tall (6'5"), sounds smart and funny, we'll see.
Was tall and nice enough looking objectively - not quite sure if he does it for me in the looks department. Not a matter of attractiveness on an objective scale, just a matter of those mysterious things that make you swoon over one person and not another, equally attractive person.
Nice guy, self-aware. His ex-wife dumped him for his best friend after they'd been together 10 years, married two. That was ten years ago. He wasn't bitter, owned his possible contribution to the breakdown (not much actually)and did not gloat at all about the fact that now she's married to the friend, has autistic twins and is living with her folks. He's got a 12 year old daughter and sounds like he's a good dad.
He's involved with a charity that feeds the homeless, and is pursuing his dream of getting a degree so he can work in administration for a non-profit. Big-hearted guy.
He might not be quite alpha-male enough for me, might not be quite intellectually quick enough for me - hard to tell from a coffee date though. I was debating whether to write him a gentle let-down letter afterwards, but got caught up in some kid stuff. Then he wrote to me, complimented me and nicely asked if I'd be interested in getting together again. I'm thinking I should at least give him a date or two before I make up my mind.
Hi kml, I've been waiting for the update! Sounds like it was a good date and I've had so many people tell me that unless there is NO chance definitely go on a second date. It's because you're both nervous, trying to put on the best show, etc....
I just laughed at your email, you sound so much like me! I look at some of these guys' online profiles and I just think, "Dang he looks road weary." I don't mind wrinkles, or even bald, but I can't do heavyset...no way! I put on my Okcupid profile to message me only if you are currently working out, not "going to" or "used to." One guy emailed and said he only rode a bike and would that be a problem. I replied back that it probably would because I do ALL sports and activities. Well, come to find out, that's his MODE of transportation; he doesn't own a car! Umm...no, I'm not dating someone who things I'm going out on a date on the back of his bicycle!!! lol
I also need a strong alpha male type who is not passive aggressive. The search could take awhile I'm afraid.
I have a question for you. Do you contact them online or wait for them to contact you? I contacted this engineer guy and we've been emailing back and forth, but he was just divorced in July and says this online/dating thing feels "awkward" to him. What do you suppose that's all about?
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
My best friend wants me to wait for them to contact me, she thinks that's some guarantee they're really interested and a good hedge against my unfortunate tendency to end up the pursuer. However, I find the ones who contact me fall mostly into those Santa Claus vs. young guy categories. Since I did NOT lie about my age, I probably don't show up on a lot of eligible guys' searches who might be interested in me, but cut their search off just below my age. So I HAVE contacted guys - in fact the coffee date guy is one I contacted.
