Like I have said before I do alot of reading of other people's sitches. While reading them, I have come to a conclusion about our WAS's or MLCers and that is, they are not choosing the OP over us, they are choosing themselves. I have seen many times people be upset because their spouse chose the OP. Let me tell you, they are choosing themselves over everyone, including the OP. Eventually, the OP will see this, and they will decide whether our spouse is worth the selfishness or not. But, we are good people, we would not be here if we weren't, we would not want to reconcile with our spouse. We would have not want to work on ourselves. We are the better people and will always be the better people until our spouses choose the take the high road and do what is right, not what is easy or better for them. Trust in God and know that he doesn't make junk, he has made you a special and loving person. He made your spouse that way too, but the difference it that your spouse is choosing the easy route and you are not. God be with you all!! He is good and loving and me made you!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Today has been a blah day for me. I didn't foresee and plan accordingly that today would be 3 months since H left. I am sad and miss my H very much. I have struggled with a gut instinct all day. Yesterday I was trying to arrange a time for H to see D16 between her play rehearsals, and suggested Thur since she doesn't have rehearsal and H said he has something going on Thur and Fri both. I didn't ask what and just let it go. I just suggested he should check D16 on what they can arrange. Today. I have had the gut instinct H is moving OW down to his current city (10mins away from mine). She lives 40 mins away. I just feel they have found a place and are going to move in together now. UGH!! My D16 will freak! I don't see it as a bad thing. I think he will really start to see the grass is NOT greener on the other side. I don't know. I am trying to stay focused on the Lord and kick this devil out of my gut. I have NO control over this and I need to let it go.
Blessings!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Oh Lorie, I feel for you. I can just imagine how that feels! Gut instincts are tough for sure. Hugs to you and praying for a better day for you tomorrow.
Me: 41 STBXH: 36 D: 11 S: 9 BOMB 12/2009 SEPARATED 5/2010 D SERVED BY ME 9/2010 FINAL D When I'm ready
Lorie - Sorry bout the low day. I wonder if it might help you detach better if you didn't make the visitation arrangements but your D took care of it. My S was 16 when H left and at first I tried to take care of it but realized that any contact was just too darn painful. Brooklyn and all also advised that I was not responsible for H's relationship with S. So it would make sense that you are not responsible as well.
Lorie take care of yourself during this time. You deserve a life with someone who values and respect you above all others. IB
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
