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Navyguy Offline OP
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My last thread is locked...here's the latest info to get everyone up to speed:

So, last month when I went into the kids preschool to pay, the director asked me when the kids were going to be back and I said I don't know...I'm pretty sure she had figured out for herself that we were having M problems. So, she told me that she didn't want me to pay and that they would try to hold the kids' spots in school. Yesterday, D5's teacher sent W and I an e-mail saying we could come and pick up D5's stuff from the school.

W then sent me this:

"Hey, I was surprised by the email by the kids school. Have they been withdrawn? I feel sick, because I was feeling like I may be willing to come back to DC... Not for us, but for the kids. I do want them to be around both of us as much as possible...
I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight because I'm scared the kids won't have their school to go back to.
We don't need to find separate places. Things really need to change though. What are your thoughts?"


I responded with:

"Hey, sorry I missed your call last night. I’m sick and I took some Nyquil before bed last night, so the phone didn't wake me up. I hope you ended up getting some sleep.

I was surprised by the e-mail too. I sent an e-mail to the directors of the school to let them know I’d be dropping off a check before my last trip out there and they replied and asked again when the kids were going to be back. I told her that I still didn’t know and that you were still in Colorado helping S with her new baby. I think she figured out for herself what was really going on and she told me that she didn’t want me to pay anymore until they came back, and that she would hold their spots for them. I don’t know if she didn’t communicate that to D5's teacher clearly, but I can call and find out.

If you’re thinking about coming back sometime soon I will call to let them know and go and drop off another check today.

I agree, things definitely need to change. That is why I have been working so hard on learning who I really am and figuring out the things I have done which pushed us apart. I know if you come back and I keep doing the same things you will continue to be miserable and there is no chance for things to change. I know that rebuilding would take time and lots of patience. I would want it to be on your terms and at your pace, and I am completely willing to do anything I can to make it happen."


It's now been about 24 hours, and still no response from her yet. I did skype with the kids last night and W seemed in a much better mood than she's been in for a long time...keeping my fingers cautiously crossed here.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 351
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Navyguy Offline OP
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BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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That was a pretty impressive conversation on your end Navy.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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I agree.

I don't think you could have said it any better.

She's thinking....

You may not hear from her for a bit.


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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Agreed Navy. Nicely done!

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Just got off the phone from talking to D5...

While we were on the phone she said she had to go tell mama a secret. I couldn't hear the secret, but when D5 came back on she said "oh its two days until we go to Washington, not three"

I was speechless. Did I really hear what I thought I heard?

I didn't ask her if it was really true because W was right there and I didn't want to take the chance of finding out it wasn't...


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 459
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Navy,
First, let me say "Congratulations" on your promotion. I am sure you will be a fine Lt.Cmdr. One of the best officers I ever worked for was an Lt. Cmdr. I hope he is doing well today. Should bring a nice raise, huh?

Also, the recent developments in your sitch are wonderful. Just keep your head about you. Now, the real work will begin. Probably some of the hardest DB'ing will begin now. I would highly recommend reading the reconciliation part of DR a couple of times before your family comes to visit. You will need to be on the top of your game during this period.

I can't tell you how stoked I am to hear your wonderful news on all fronts. Just be careful. You don't want to ruin your progress to this point.

Good luck, buddy!!!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Well, I skype'd with D5 last night. She again said that it is 2 days until they leave for Washington. I asked her why she was saying that, and she said "because I was thinking for that"...so I still don't know if it's actually happening, or just wishful thinking on her part. I still haven't heard back from W on the e-mail.

As gritter said, she's probably thinking...just gotta stay patient.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 351
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Posts: 351
Well, W called a bit ago....

To ask me for a recipe!?!

2nd time in 3 days she's called for something trivial that she could have probably figured out on her own. I guess that is a good thing, isn't it?


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
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You bet it is. There's a big internet out there with a LOT of recipes and you can find ANYTHING out there. So she had alternatives. Lots of them.

What are you doing RIGHT, because you definitely are!


btw--congratulations on your promotion--you're doing a LOT right!

Last edited by dbmod; 03/12/11 02:29 PM.

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