It is not acceptable behaviour in a relationship. In many of these cases the WAS does not feel they are in a relationship.
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By not propagating the myth that their spouse is in a "mid-life-crisis" and they are confused by "fog" or "abducted by aliens" and that is why they are doing what they are doing.
I actually don't advocate for MLC in Newcomers. It is over-used. In some situations it applies but not all.
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You are not addressing the "underlying issues" by suggesting some guy mow the lawn, or do the dishes, or buy a new pair of slacks.
Someone gave that advice? That's pretty crappy advice to get a marriage back. I agree with you.
More often than not the advice is to address problems within yourself. Try different ways to communicate, set goals and see if they happen. Go dark, set boundaries. (once a person (LBS) is capable of living with the consequences)
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If those are the reasons your wife is in bed with another man. You are married to the WRONG person.
I agree if the spouse was always that shallow.
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But I am not understanding why you would argue pro-cuckoldry. SAD.
Do I?
Do you really think anyone here is saying its ok for the rest of your life?
It about being able to survive an affair after it happens, not about ending the marriage when it does.
If you're need to be right is greater than your ability to communicate, then this is just seeing who yells loudest.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Posting a link to another site. While I like the site and other marriage resource sites, posting them is a violation.
And a personal attack.
That post is the reason some are moderated. Including new people, in the case of a banned individual coming back.
That post is the reason why the edit button is disabled.
At its most simple, look at the TOA as a boundary. If you break it, consequences will happen.
I'll ask 2step, but the moderators here are not required to give an explanation as per the TOA.
Jack..i think you know how I feel about you.
But I was moderated for a while. I was never even told I was moderated, let alone while. Also, certain people just aren't moderated. They could say anything violate any TOA and they are untouchable.
I think it's pretty crappy that they can't even give you an explanation, but it's down right criminal they don't even tell you, you are moderated. You have to find out when you post.
Now say I was in a crisis and I really needed advice immediately. I didn't know I moderated. I didn't get the help I needed, things go bad. How is that "standing up for marriage."
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Also, certain people just aren't moderated. They could say anything violate any TOA and they are untouchable.
Once unmoderated you remain unmoderated unless you break the TOA. Some people I have on my watch list. How's that for honest?
As much as I don't like the notify button. If someone breaks the TOA...click the notify button, and a message is sent to the moderator, that is the best way.
There are only 3 moderators, we don't see everything.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Well I appreciate the support it was very thoughtful.
I have been taken off moderation
Jack,
Still have no idea why it happened. Maybe a mistake? I don’t know.
My posts are pretty much consistent and I don’t believe I break any rules.
Anyways as I suspected it all worked out
Thank goodness. Now my thread doesn't have to be knocked down to page 5 every time you post on it!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
