Going to pick up boxes on Friday to follow faith suggestion.
GOOD! With thanks to Bworl's and Starsky's support re-read what they said/agreed to. Any questions? Ask....just try to do what I outlined first. Anything outside of that, suck it up when she says anything and get out of the house as fast as possible. Then post your dilemma here as soon as you can.
First sign of strength is not caving in to her pressure. Have faith Johnnie. We will back you.
The goal here is not to be a Jerk, the goal is to show you have the strength to honor your boundary, which is "I will not live in an Open Marriage".
So basically, I'm going to get the boxes in the morning and then have them conspicuously in the house. If/when my wife asks, wht. I will respond that "I am waiting on her response regarding her A, and that I am panning in advance for if her answer is not for our marriage. I will not live in an open marriage.". Then I will leave the house. She will be packing for her trip to somethingfest and will have the weekend to mull it over.
Does that sound ok?
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
So, while I was taking my shower this morning, I noticed my gut is gone from all the weight loss. I know my wife was watching tv in the living room, so I put on a towel, walked to the kitchen, throughout the living room(it is on the way to the kitchen) and got a drink of water. On my way back, when I had to negotiate the gate (daycare remember) my wife took a good look at me. I think she was noticing my weight loss. Then I went back into the bathroom and got dressed.
Was that a good idea to have her take notice?
J
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
J1, she has probably already noticed, even if she hadn't said anything. Strutting your stuff is one thing...but (isn't there always a but...) this kinda comes off as game playing and trying to win her back by showing off. You should be proud of looking and feeling better, but the quiet pride comes across the strongest.
One important lesson (not what you might think) is that whether this was a mistake or not, it's done and move on.
Good luck with the interview today! PMA does wonders in both R's and job interviews!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
been separated 18 months.....I am misearable....I am stuck... I'm working out like crazy and taking vitamins and I am quite obsessed with working out and keeping myself busy at all times...can't even watch TV anymore, I have to be on the go....can't relax...I am terrified of boredome, but at the same time I think if I stop I will get depressed and "DIE! does anyone feel this way or has felt this way? is there a way out?
H 41 W 38 M 15 YRS s 13 d 14 separated 02/15/2010 Living alone (split custody of the kids)
Boy that was timely, just had an hour chat with close friend who knows our sitch, she was a WAW. She echoed everything Michelle said about WAWs. Then I sent her the WAW article on the front page and she was floored. She left her husband for the same reasons as my wife is now, and she went with the affair partner and now wishes she stayed with her husband, instead of the affair partner. in her words I realize now theat he(lbs) was truly in love with me.
Hopefully you understand the importance of this coversation. A WAW told you one of the most successful tactics for making them want to be with you.
So basically, I'm going to get the boxes in the morning and then have them conspicuously in the house. If/when my wife asks, wht. I will respond that "I am waiting on her response regarding her A, and that I am panning in advance for if her answer is not for our marriage. I will not live in an open marriage.". Then I will leave the house. She will be packing for her trip to somethingfest and will have the weekend to mull it over.
Does that sound ok?
I would try to be shorter, less specific. Something like "Well, this clearly isn't working for either one of us the way things are right now, so I'm just trying to get some ducks in a row. I think we both have some big decisions to make, very soon."
