Somewhere between filing and D

[jon2911]

Been running with my new roommate every morning at White Rock Lake, right near my house. There's a marathon there in December I'm shooting for. Also buying a mountain bike for this weekend. It's different getting outside than the gym, and I'm enjoying it.

I got the papers, and survived. It's hard reading back how even a year ago things seemed so good. Definitely in the romance stage. I'm confused, but nothing I can do now. No contact from W since telling me she was moving.

[MichelleLT]

Deep breath Jon.

Keep running.

Keep moving forward.

Go dark. Take time to process and think without dwelling yourself into a depression.

You both have been struggling uphill against her health problems, family pressure, family drama, family deaths, distance, job changes, etc.

It has not been an easy path for either of you. You have remained committed and hopeful but now it's time to pull back and put more energy into yourself.

She filed. It looks like she is going through with it this time. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

[ncl]

Hey, Jon. Thanks for your welcome to this forum on my thread. You live just west of me a bit (I'm a fellow Texan). I have several friends who run White Rock each year. It's a great course.

I'm sorry to hear you were served, but glad you survived. One day at a time, one moment at a time. As Michelle suggested....deep breath. I know firsthand how even breathing can sometimes physically hurt, but you will get through it.

I've been reading a book called "Journey from Abandonment to Healing." It's been helpful to me as I'm trying to begin recovery from this nightmare and get my feet back on solid ground. The exercise you are doing is so very good for mind and body. Keep taking care of yourself.

[jon2911]

Thanks Michelle and lc4. Still running every morning, and bought a new mountain bike and hit the trails on Saturday. Exciting stuff. It was really hard getting up early last week, but I'm getting used to it now and it's really helping my PMA.

After a couple weeks of dark, W texted Friday night that one of my favorite burger places on TV. I ignored it until Saturday night, then responded. She texted a couple times Sunday, then called at 10:45 PM, after I had gone to bed. We caught up for a few minutes, and she told me her head has been really hurting for several days. She still plans to move to New York, but said that kind of weakly. After 20 minutes she said "just wanted to say hi".

Going dark again now.

[jon2911]

lc4, checking out "The Journey from Abandonment to Hope". Looks great.

[MichelleLT]

So...explain to me why you answered the phone if you were already in bed????

LOL

[jon2911]

Michelle,
Yes, true. Talked with some good friends last night, and they helped me understand why that text affected me so much. It showed W was thinking about me, that she still cares about me. She's stringing me along, and this doesn't feel like D.

Talked with W about it, how a text like that sends mixed messages when she's still pursuing D. She said she knew I had been served, didn't know if I was curled up in a ball somewhere. That of course she thought of me when seeing Dallas on TV, that we're still good friends, but she's down there, I'm up here, and she's not moving back. I told her I'm sorry she feels that way, but it's time to cut it to business-only talk until the D is final. I also told her I'm planning to get a lawyer and contest.

So, here we go. Planning to keep posting.

[ncl]

Michelle,
Yes, true. Talked with some good friends last night, and they helped me understand why that text affected me so much. It showed W was thinking about me, that she still cares about me. She's stringing me along, and this doesn't feel like D.

Talked with W about it, how a text like that sends mixed messages when she's still pursuing D. She said she knew I had been served, didn't know if I was curled up in a ball somewhere. That of course she thought of me when seeing Dallas on TV, that we're still good friends, but she's down there, I'm up here, and she's not moving back. I told her I'm sorry she feels that way, but it's time to cut it to business-only talk until the D is final. I also told her I'm planning to get a lawyer and contest.

So, here we go. Planning to keep posting.

Good way to set some boundaries and protect your feelings. Make her miss you.

[jon2911]

Good way to set some boundaries and protect your feelings. Make her miss you.

Thanks lc4. I'm feeling it today, but had a good meeting with my C. He had never told me this in 3 years of meeting, but he was divorced while in seminary, and at my school nonetheless. His W left him for another woman. He told me more of his story today than I've ever heard. It did give me some hope, that I'll be OK regardless. My C gave me a couple good Lawyer phone numbers, so I'll get on that tomorrow.

I responded to a Craigslist Harley ad, going to look at it tomorrow. It's just about perfect for what I want, and only $3500.

Got a last minute gig leading worship at a camp with some friends tonight. So much fun. I really feel numb and depressed, having to force myself to do these GAL things. I'm frustrated to go through this again, just like 4 years ago, 2 years ago. My C helped me see that I wasn't crazy to keep trying all this time, that I wanted to be faithful as long as there was any hope. He said God will honor that. It's so hard to let go now.

[jon2911]

Feels like letting go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VM_OwfjUxs&feature=related