I guess its MLC-new need advice 6 months in

[seeking answers]

Life,

Have you had a consultation with a lawyer yet? Do not be afraid of this step, it means nothing more than going to get information about where you stand and what your rights are.

You would be surprised by how much this will settle your mind.

You do not have to mention this to anyone. It's for your information and peace of mind only. Many Ls will give you a free consultation.

[Cadet]

Part of me feels it will be the final nail once we get on this subject.

Any thought?

I think this is an EXPECTATION.

In reality the final nail will be when YOU decide.

The LBS usually get the last say, of course that is a long ways off and you don't get the final say until after you don't care any more.

My .02

[lifejustgothard2]

Okay you mean I am to have no expectations right?

Honestly, don't want to talk to a##hole. It always turns ugly. He has detached so well from us that he has yet to look back it seems.

I feel H should be coming to me/us as he has been the main provider and now has decided to change lives.

I think in his mind he feels free from responsibity this way but at the expense of not helping my oldest with financial stuff for college.

Hsven't seen a lawyer yet.

[lifejustgothard2]

25MLC stop by please.
day 16 NC. Well, I am just not sure how much more I can take. Maybe I am just being dumb and ignorant. A friend called to tell me she saw H at the bar where the OW works.

He had mulitiple beers and then quietly leaned in to OW and asked her how much longer before she is done with work.

THis broke my heart - again. I know I know I am to be GAL. But, even with all of that it still hurts. I am being honest.

I can't believe my H would do any of this. TO me and my kids. We have been traded in for a bimbo and beer. He is a man I do not recognize.

So has this been what he has been wanting all these years? Now finally got it?!

I am standing for my marriage or am I lying to myself? TO me there is still hope he will come back and wake up. Not tonight.

BUt, I feel so deceived and just thrown under the bus. Along with my kids and he doesn't have a care in the world.

I am also surprised how no one will confront him about what he is doing. Or, am I expecting to much from my friends?

Can I really get over this IF he were to come home? I like to believe I could or do I scratch the money together and file? Give him what he wants? I didn't want to be the one to file but maybe I just get it over. Woudl it really make some of this pain go away?

I am so hurt tonight. I believe I block out a lot of what has been going on to protect myself and then when I hear this garbage it is my reality. Maybe I need to not be so protective of myself.

I know living well is the best revenge but I am not feeling that right now. Haven't cried like this in a long time.

Thanks.

[lifejustgothard2]

anyone please? It has been a rough day.

[irishblessings]

Life -
My heart breaks for you - I KNOW your pain. I am not a beauty - but I am decent looking, have a great job, lots of friends, my kids love me - and my XH has chosen a former bartender on disability. No judgments - but she is not a tier 1 beauty that he told me he thought he was going to marry.
This IS NOT about you. Remind yourself over and over again - you do not deserve this, it is NOT in your power to change it. Figure out what IS in your control and decide who you want to be and how you want to live!!!
READ, READ, READ the info sent to you when you joined!!!
IB

[lifejustgothard2]

Thanks IB. I feel better this morning. I haven't had a night like that for a while.

I realize he has made terrible choices.

I just wonder if I am blocking out the OW and whats going on with them and then when I hear about them it really really hurts.

Trying to get my finances in order

[Lorie1964]

Life,

I too have heard things this week about H and OW that has hurt to hear. I just remind myself constantly that I can only control myself and not him or the situation.

(((HUGS)))

[lifejustgothard2]

Lorie1964-is your H still with the same OW? I always hear 6 months it usually lasts. I know its impossible to predict but I like that number.

Seems they can't began to think about what they left when they are still with them.? Or, else I dont understand how they could.

I am feeling jealous of others whose sposes at least want to see th kids. Not mine. It is going on months since he has them. Just venting.

[Lorie1964]

Life,

My H is still with the OW, they r living together and have been since April. A's can last anywhere from a couple of days to years, and I believe the MLCer is in such a state that they need the OP as a bandaide. They don't want to think about how to make things work at home, that is where the problem is, they don'twNt to work on themselves because that is the problem too. Don't try to put timeliness on things, this MLC is so unpredictable. Stay focused on yourself and how u can grow from this experience.

My H too rarely sees our D and it is very hard on her. My H and Had the beat relationship and many were quite enamoured at their mural admiration society they had going on, now nothing. It is so sad to see, and I can so anything about it but be there for her. She is so angry and tries to hide it most of the time. She has even said she feels the OW took her place in her fathers life. It make me want sick. I have spoken to her about forgiveness and her father not being in a good place right now, but it doesn't help, she feels abandoned by him.

I just try to keep us moving forward and living as though he is never coming back. It has helped us both and we even make future plans now.

I hope this helps u some. Sorry for the typos I am using my phone and don't catch them all.

Blessings!