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Thanks Mach1. I agree I do focus on H too much. I truly am working on it. I feel its hard to be insighful on where I failed though unless I reflect on this stuff. BUt, maybe I need to reflect and then move on. I can't change the past.

If he has filed, what do I expect legally? Do they serve me? Call me or mail the papers? Tired of being blindsided.

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Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
Thanks Mach1. I agree I do focus on H too much. I truly am working on it. I feel its hard to be insighful on where I failed though unless I reflect on this stuff. BUt, maybe I need to reflect and then move on. I can't change the past.


That is one of the reasons the resources are so important....

One of the reasons the archives are so important...

Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
If he has filed, what do I expect legally? Do they serve me? Call me or mail the papers? Tired of being blindsided.



They will "be in touch" if he has filed...

Normal process means you will be served , possibly by the local Sherriffs dept, or by some henchman, that his lawyers office has hired....

Just remember that you can't spend your time worrying about that right now....You have more important things to do

What about you Life ?

Who were you before you got married ?

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Thanks Mach1. Seems like every day this sitch is just in my face!!

I am GAL. I have had NC for over 21 days but have lost count cause I am GAL!! smile

I just wonder when these kids will see their dad. Maybe never.

I have choose not to see a lawyer till he files. Talked to a few on the phone and they said it doesn't matter who files first. So, if he serves me he serves me.

I am just a little tired of being blind sided by H's crap. When do I get to suprise him? Just venting.

Really hard to be in public because some days I wonder is that OW every where I look. So sad.

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Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
Seems like every day this sitch is just in my face!!


It's not just a feeling, it IS in your face everyday....

Right up to the point that you don't allow it to be in your face every day.


Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2

I am GAL. I have had NC for over 21 days but have lost count cause I am GAL!! smile


Day 500 and....something ?


Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2

I just wonder when these kids will see their dad. Maybe never.



Those relationships are not yours to fix either..

I think the line here is...

It is not your job to repair their relationship, it is your job not to further damage their relationship.........( thanks Grace )




Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
Really hard to be in public because some days I wonder is that OW every where I look. So sad.


What if she is ?

How should that affect your daily life ?

Would you treat her any different if you did know ?

She is not the cause of your marriage failing, that part is owned by only 2 people..

Your husband isn't the one here posting, so this is up to you right now.

What part did you play in that breakdown ?

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Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
So, he met with a lawyer. Now, what do I expect? The sheriff coming to my door?


Hey Life,

How do you know that he filed???


Formerly "missherlove"

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Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.

~Jim Morrison
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MHL- I don't. But, why would he not is what I am thinking.

Mach1-I truly am working on my part and months ago apologized to H for my things. I see them. I am not perfect.

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Life,

Looking at your things, apologizing for them, is great...

Seeing them, is only the first step...

None of us are perfect...

Hell, it isn't really even an appealing thought...

Perfect...

would be boring...

Those things you apologized for, is there anything that can be changed?

I mean we can't change our past behaviors, but we can make our future behaviors different...

Ok, so maybe he filed, maybe he didn't...

You just can't really predict what other people are actually going to do...

So let's not worry about that right now...

What can you do today to make Life a little happier?



"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
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Yes, definitely things that can change. And, I am working on those should H come back or not.

Working on my GAL all the time. My 180's H won't see cause he is not here and I have NC. Which is okay right now. Keeps me from anymore pain. THe thought of even talking to him right now makes me ill.

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So fill us in life ... what kind of things?


Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
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Forgiving quicker, not holding a grudge, smiling more, speaking quieter, having an open mind

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