I have not posted for a while. I am just sitting back watching my ex's MLC go on and on and on and on.
Things have changed. It is clear replay is dwindling. His spinning is not as intense. He sold his Jaquar convertible, motorcycle, and boat several months ago.
He has not married OW. She is still living with him.
The spewing has stopped. He is clearly avoiding me, friends, and family.
He seems for the first time shameful and embarrassed about what he has done.
In January, he did ask for my forgiveness but it was clear he had a lot of baking to do yet.
Last weekend my father ran in to him at a Menards Store. He was friendly and told my father he wishes "things could go back to the way they use to be". He told him that he misses him and was actually thinking about inviting him to his home. My father found that statement odd since OW still lives there. So he is still somewhat not thinking clearly.
Daughter reports there is a lot of "drama" over at dad's house with OW. I don't ask for details, I just listen.
Ex appears to be better with his finances and has not taken a trip for a while, which is very rare. Since the bomb, he has taken over 40 major vacations. He has been a runner, runner..
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I have grown alot. I manage a extremely stressful full time job, three kids, and the marriage home.
My relationship with God is as strong as ever.
I have dated but have not found anyone that really interests me. In all honesty my heart still is not healed or over my ex. My mind rationally knows our marriage is over and there has been an extreme amount of damage done. I can get over the affair, the abuse, the financial irresponsibility, but I am having difficulty getting over all his actions that hurt the children. I pray about this alot.
I sleep extremely well at night knowing I did everything I could.
My self-esteem is almost back to where it was pre-bomb.
I am closer to my children then ever.
There is life after a spouse in MLC. It is different though and I have learned we all have to stear our own ship and find our path to healing, love and forgiveness. No one can do this for us or rescue us.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thanks Seeking, you get to the point of seeing everything more positively and wanting life to be wonderful again.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, it is really good to hear from you again and you do sound really good.
Your Hs comment to your father sounds like he is trying to somehow patch relationships that he "destroyed". I hope he finds the courage to continue and heal.
I see that you and God have a great relationship. Has your H mentioned to anyone if he is working on a relationship with God? I always find that the most important area in a persons life to begin healing.
Praying for you!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
The only problem with ex's ow is that she works for him. He is not suppose to have any type of relationship with his employees. I think she has threatened if he leaves her she will pursue sexual harrassment charges and get him in trouble. Their relationship is very controlling on both parts. I think my ex is so confused and bewildered regarding how he got in this situation.
It is what it is.... It just has to play out.
I believe now more than ever that relationships cannot be built on deception and cheating. It just does not work. If they stay together they will be miserable.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Ex did state that he has asked god for forgiveness. He even went and got baptized. I just don't think his attempts were sincere.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Update: Ex has been texting me a lot. Asking questions about the kids, changing schedules, etc... It has been interesting.
I am off tomorrow to visit my son in Florida. I can't wait.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
