WAW called again (did not pick up) called back--to discuss preschool/childcare for S. Cordial, nice, wanted to fill me in on outcome of the visit.
I validated all that was being said and asked a couple questions. Once again, I too, was nice-ended the convo and said thanks for informing me and to have a nice rest of the afternoon.
OK, the reaason for posting some play-by-play convo's is to journal and inform. For those who have been following, I am monitoring this about 1-month change in W's behavior. Not biting on anything..there's no R talk anyway,, but there IS a change to by cognizant of.
The biggest contrast from Mar-Jun to July is we are actually not only civil, but seem to actually be getting along for whatever that is worth.
And, if this were to happen over spring, I would have thought it was a sign of reconciliation. Now, (since DBin' I'm just watching and being myself, GALin, and admittedely, shaking my head a bit at w's being nice again..who the he11 knows?
Unless that is you want her to pick up where she left off a week ago.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
The number one thing about DB is to DO WHAT WORKS, and if it ISN'T WORKING, do something differently.
I know you were joking, but at the same time you feel this. You ask, because you are not sure. KEEP DOING what works. If you see a positive change for you, then enjoy it. Don't worry too much about doing "something else". You have to have a goal and you have to know what YOU want.
When you know what you want and live accordingly, she will be drawn to you.
Thanks Faith, I needed that. It can be confusing and overwhelming trying to "get it right" you know?
The goal is to restore our marriage for all the right reasons. I'm questioning many things at this point, mainly because this past month is the first I've seen a change in waw's behavior/actions/communication CONSISTENTLY since March. It mirrors how she was before the imposter (waw) moved in..
You are right, deep down, I want to scream, "what happened. what has changed. why are u being nice to me. is this a game. is this the real you?" but that would be fishin' for info leading to R talk. And, I haven't brought up R since late May.
The challenge is identifying what I have done in the past month that contributed to the change in her...if anything. And, more importantly, contributing to my feeling better??
However, when getting too engrossed in thinking about it, I feel it's about w and not me. See the conundrum?
I really want to become this big magnet of positive life so anyone and everyone I come across is attracted to this man that only a fool would leave. Work in progress like so many on here.
Had nice weekend with kids. Took them to grad. party with lots of kids. Cousins were there and lent a big dose of support and love.
One who's my age, told me "when you're ready I have many friends in mind for you. You're an incredible catch. Who in their right mind would leave someone with your looks and heart?" My WAW did,that's who.. lol, good to have people sticking up for ya.
In addition, we had the convo on the phone re: updates on the 4 kids. I never asked to have a face2face. Not outta fear, it just parlayed into a phone call (1hour) last night.
Went through our lists of each; postivesa and challenges we see in the kids. Talked about the upcoming schoolyear, activities, logistics of new school, neighborhood for kids, etc.
Overall, the discussion was civil and focused on the kids.
I mentioned recently (on here), how W has been very nice for the past two months which is a BIG change from spring.
She made reference to the parenting class which is required in Ohio when going throgh divorce, the kids' school counselors, and the tone of "this divorce is continuing"
So, really hard to know why she's being nice but her intentions do not seem to have changed. Nothing came up about R.
Our anniversary is on Aug. 14. I'd be floored if waw wants to get together for that. Also, pre-trial hearing 8/30.
"A word of caution, do not expect anything from her. Never go expecting a response from her. If you do, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Don't try to to read any meaning into whatever she says or does, okay?"
It's good for us to reread our own posts from time to time and catch patterns. I definetely fall (backslide)into the above.
Picking up S3 for his birthday and some one on one time w/daddy.
I realize for sure, that I miss my kids more than my WAW. Is this wrong? Still love her and want to reunite.
WAW just called as I was typing this...this has happened before, hmm? Inquired about bank acct. split. Again, very nice, civil and communicative. No signs of recon. at this point.
Maybe she's over being mad at me because she's over me...
