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W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
#2173864 08/03/11 03:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 80
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macvspc Offline OP
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I am having a hard time detaching right now. As the title states her 50th birthday is tomorrow and I am at a loss of what to do.

For 12 years we have celebrated it together but this year she has decided to travel with GFs to a cabin out of state. I will have the children this weekend.

This emotional roller coaster is exhausting and taking a toll on me. I need to detach emotionally and move forward with GAL.

I have a DB coach appointment on Friday, I'll talk about a LRT letter and how to proceed.

M 38
W 50
S 9, D 6
T 12 M 10
W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront
W's 2nd EA 6/2010
Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010
MC 2/2011 - 3/2011
W bomb dropped 4/2011
Nothing filed or done
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
macvspc #2173885 08/03/11 03:47 PM
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Canoe'k-land
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Canoe'k-land
mvp...

Here's the reality... she has chosen to leave the M... she is choosing to be with her friends...

It is possible that she may not be expecting a birthday greeting from you...

If you believe that wishing her a happy birthday might be helpful or have no affect on your sitch, then no harm...

Then again... she might see this as pursuing...

We all make our choices and sometimes they help and sometimes they harm...
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
~ kd ~ #2174051 08/03/11 08:53 PM
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Posts: 80
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macvspc Offline OP
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Kaffe, thanks again for the reality check. I have been following along with your posts and replies.

Wanting to drop the rope and move on and that starts when I'm ready. I have a DB coach call on Friday. That is where I'll start

Thanks all!
Mac

M 38
W 50
S 9, D 6
T 12 M 10
W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront
W's 2nd EA 6/2010
Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010
MC 2/2011 - 3/2011
W bomb dropped 4/2011
Nothing filed or done
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
macvspc #2174128 08/03/11 11:37 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 80
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macvspc Offline OP
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When do we as LBS stop playing the "victim" to our emotions?

I understand what I have done wrong but what now???

M 38
W 50
S 9, D 6
T 12 M 10
W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront
W's 2nd EA 6/2010
Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010
MC 2/2011 - 3/2011
W bomb dropped 4/2011
Nothing filed or done
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
macvspc #2174131 08/03/11 11:46 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,866
Likes: 1
Canoe'k-land
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Canoe'k-land
I understand what you are saying...

The answer lies in, how can one be a victim to our emotions? Or perhaps more relevant, how do we act or what do we do when we feel our emotions control us? The... passive form...
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
~ kd ~ #2174135 08/03/11 11:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,866
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Canoe'k-land
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Canoe'k-land
That might be a bit confusing... a little vague...

Stuck in some thoughts right now... grin

When we feel victim, we cower. When we come from a position of strength we...?
Re: W's Birthday tomorrow but she is leaving
~ kd ~ #2174385 08/04/11 10:09 PM
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Posts: 80
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macvspc Offline OP
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When we come from a position of strength we do what is right.

Well she left about three hours ago with her GFs. I wished her a happy B-Day with a card and small gift for her car. She thanked me for her birthday.

The kids and I are going to have a great weekend together.

Now to figure what is the right thing to do. Kaffe your signature says it all - it's about me and the kids now.

M 38
W 50
S 9, D 6
T 12 M 10
W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront
W's 2nd EA 6/2010
Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010
MC 2/2011 - 3/2011
W bomb dropped 4/2011
Nothing filed or done

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