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You control you. You concentrate on the matters at hand.

Don't think about those images in your head. Think about the image you want to leave of you in your H's head.

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Should I suggest that we meet in a public place?

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Meet where you feel most comfortable.

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also, do I get this in writing the agreement we come to? Obviously H is no longer a man of his word and could very easily decide not to do what he says.

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Maybe others will chime in with different opinions, and I could be wrong, but I don't think getting it in writing that is not legalized will be worth the paper it is printed on.

That said, just keep a close eye on it so if he stops giving you what you've agreed upon, you can take legal action if need be.

Did your L consult give you a figure of what C/S would be if either of you decide to pursue a legal sep. or divorce?

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He did not. He did say he doesn't bother with LS either. Very few do he said.

H is so into himself that him remembering to put money into an acct just seems like too much for him. And, it seems just another way I may have to contact him and I don't want that. I of course broke NC after over 6 weeks because of this money stuff. If I hadn't would he of called me? Doubtful.

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Legally, SA is probably right, but it's still a good idea. Potentially allieviates confusion and "he said/she said", and who knows, you might be able to use it later...

I wish I'd started getting things in writing much earlier...

Good luck, and keep your focus! A public place is a good idea IMO because it might help you keep from crying etc.

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Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
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Hey Life, I could feel how nervous you are about this meeting.

I agree with Pei that a public place might be best.

And while getting it in writing will probably not help legally, if you can do it, it will help keep things straight.

Please remember that he is in crisis, and so he is looking out for himself right now.

Try to keep your emotions in check and keep to the matter at hand.


You can do this.

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I agree. I will suggest a public place.

SO, now if he asks about kids or me-like how we are- do I play it up and say great! Or, good but we/they miss you? I will not bring up anything but finances -thats my plan. But, wondering how to handle any questions.

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Sweetie, just be the person you aspire to be.

How do you want him to think about you when you leave?

And no, do not say they/you miss him. He knows it, but, hearing it out loud will seem like pressure to him and guilt from you.

I know it's hard to understand that he has become this person. But, for right now, he has.

While you might not agree with his choices, they are his to make, andhe needs to be sure you have heard them.

Your job is to protect yourself and your children financially and help them emotionally. He is not able to at the moment.

So, go be the capable,strong, Life you know you are.

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