Oh, I'm fully aware that the next death-defying drop on the roller coaster is just ahead. Doesn't mean it's any easier going down when it happens though.
Was the apology a 180 for me? No. Seems I've been apologizing nonstop for 3 years. But, it was needed. I had acted ugly and said some things I shouldn't have, and when you do that, you need to apologize and ask for forgiveness. So I did. A 180 for me is to stop apologizing for things I've already apologized for and when he brings them up again to respond," I've already apologized for that, and I've let it go."
lc4 - You have the right idea. I think you apologized for the right reasons. You did it because it was the right thing to do, not just an attempt to "fix" the situation.
Originally Posted By: lc4
A 180 for me is to stop apologizing for things I've already apologized for and when he brings them up again to respond," I've already apologized for that, and I've let it go."
I think this is a very good 180. You extend the invitation, and that's all that needs to be done.
"A 180 for me is to stop apologizing for things I've already apologized for and when he brings them up again to respond," I've already apologized for that, and I've let it go."
I like it.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I do think some of the things I finally had the nerve to tell him made him think last night. So maybe it wasn't all bad. BUT...I do need to have a personal goal of keeping my frustration in check and my mouth shut when I need to. So, I'll put on my best lc4 smile tonight, have good hair and get back to DB'ing.
You know, it obviously made him think. If you're like me, sometimes it's the way you say things that goes awry (due to frustration over this seemly never-ending cycle of back and forth!) but I don't think we need to cower in fear either.
I've noticed that a few of the posters on the board have encouraged some men to read a book about not being overly nice or weak in their relationships, and I think the same thing can apply to women. Is a man really going to respect a woman that doesn't stand up for herself or her beliefs?
And no that doesn't me we need to act like crazy screaming shrews who fly off the handle at the most mundane offense , but I don't think setting some healthy boundaries is a bad thing either. It's all in the way it's presented.
You said it, but you apologized for the delivery after giving it some thought. I think you did your best.
I do think some of the things I finally had the nerve to tell him made him think last night. So maybe it wasn't all bad. BUT...I do need to have a personal goal of keeping my frustration in check and my mouth shut when I need to. So, I'll put on my best lc4 smile tonight, have good hair and get back to DB'ing.
You know, it obviously made him think. If you're like me, sometimes it's the way you say things that goes awry (due to frustration over this seemly never-ending cycle of back and forth!) but I don't think we need to cower in fear either.
I've noticed that a few of the posters on the board have encouraged some men to read a book about not being overly nice or weak in their relationships, and I think the same thing can apply to women. Is a man really going to respect a woman that doesn't stand up for herself or her beliefs?
And no that doesn't me we need to act like crazy screaming shrews who fly off the handle at the most mundane offense , but I don't think setting some healthy boundaries is a bad thing either. It's all in the way it's presented.
You said it, but you apologized for the delivery after giving it some thought. I think you did your best.
Journaling.... Saw H tonight a couple of times for a little bit, first at a school event and then at home when he came to get the kids. When he came by, he acted like a toot...stomping through the house, telling them they needed to hurry up or he was leaving, then just walked out without saying a word to me. Well, okay, nice to see ya, too...whatever. Don't let the door hit ya on the booty on the way out.
I can say this because I know...I still looked cute, I felt good and I know that if he were to never walk back through that door again to stay, then I will be just fine. This is the first night in awhile I've been child-free, so I'm going to the bookstore to buy something fun and light, going to pick up my fav dish from my fav Mexican food restaurant, make plans to lunch with my best friend tomorrow, and keep on keeping on.
He's the one missing out. Hope it's not too late when he finally figures that out.
"A 180 for me is to stop apologizing for things I've already apologized for and when he brings them up again to respond," I've already apologized for that, and I've let it go."
I like it.
I really, really like this.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
H texted me later after he left and apologized for how he acted...said he was really hot, wanted to change out of his work clothes and the kids were taking too long.
