Ic4. Me too, worn out. W has totally shut down any emotions and feelings. Have hearing tomorrow to have me removed from home because she doesn't feel comfortable with me there. She sleeps in LR. Kids sleep wherever, usually my s9 with me or sometimes D7 or sometimes both. It's really sad. Kids will be a mess when I leave. S9 is extremely sensitive and prone to depression. I'm lost, scared and confused. W is not anywhere near the person I know and never responds to anything that would bring out emotions or feelings. I could just move out, but really want her to actually sit down with lawyers and judge-maybe she'll have to address her feelings, the effect on kids etc. As with many MLCers she says she's been thinking about this for years, but just 3 short yrs ago bought another wedding ring to wear at work. She didn't wear it very long as she lost weight but procrastinated getting it sized. I've really just lost respect for her as a Human being, wife and mother. Our kids are the best thing ever, smart active, good in school. This has gone on long enough though that S0 has gotten in some trouble at school. Am trying to detach but don't know if I can without actually moving out. I'm GALing doing more music stuff and really enjoy kids on weekends while she's at work.
The prayers...oh how I so appreciate and covet the prayers. That is what has gotten me and the kids through the last 3 years! At some point, I stopped praying for the Lord to save my marriage, and began to pray instead that my will be His will. I feel peace with that.
I feel if I only pray for God to save my marriage, I am seriously limiting my expectations of God. I actually pray for both his will and to save our marriage. I also pray that I see his purpose in it. I believe there is a much, much bigger picture in play than we can ever imagine. We're only seeing part of it right now.
Good morning, DB friends. Hope everyone slept better than I did last night. It was a rough night for me, I suppose because I was all alone (kids were with H). I don't know how I will ever get used to the quiet when the kids are gone.
Telemark, to answer your question, SA is quite a stretch from where I am...about a 350 mile stretch! It is a beautiful, fun city, and in a part of the state I love.
Michael1, I am so sorry for where you are in your marriage and that you have to go to the hearing tomorrow to determine your living arrangements. I'll add you to my list of DB friends I'm praying for. I know you feel lost, scared and confused...we all here know those feelings. You've come to the right place to get support from people going through very similar situations. Have you bought DB or DR? I strongly suggest you do if you haven't. If you can afford a DB coach, get one for yourself. You're in a tough situation since your wife is asking (rather forcing) you to leave the home. If you do feel you can leave the home (financially), it may be the best thing to give her some space. I'm not saying that is absolutely what you should do (I'm in no way qualified to advise you on this; I'm the one who has done everything WRONG on these boards ); I'm saying it may be a consideration to keep things from getting uglier and uglier. Talk to your lawyer, your counselor (if you have one), and some of the men on here. With regard to your children...my kids were my biggest concern with my H left. They were torn up by it, but they are adjusting well because they see us both everyday. We are lucky that we have been able to work out a good system for the time being. Yes, the kids (and I) wish we were all living together, but my husband needed his space...and he needed to learn to miss me and home. Children are more resilient than you think. Trust me on this one. And if in the end, it can improve your chances of a reconciliation, then it's a good thing. Best wishes to you, and I will be dropping by your thread to check on you.
Thanks Ic4. It's nice to know I have friends here that totally understand. Her friends are on mothering.com single parent forums. I think moving out is not going to be an option after tomorrow and that it will probably be for the best no matter what happens in the future. If I could afford to keep house and pay support I would. Let her get out on her own.
Spent the afternoon poolside (is it considered GAL'ing if all I did was lie there, devouring my new InStyle magazine while watching the kids play? I say YES!) in 108 degrees heat! Yowza, it's HOT here!
I've had minimal contact with H today. It's impossible to go completely dark when you have young kids together (we do a lot of juggling back and forth), but today, I've been pretty dim. I'm kind of needing a break from him right now. I'm trying to wrap my head around what I want and what I'm supposed to be doing...coming up with no answers right now.
Spent the afternoon poolside (is it considered GAL'ing if all I did was lie there, devouring my new InStyle magazine while watching the kids play? I say YES!) in 108 degrees heat!
I agree. Call a spade a spade! It's GAL'ing all right.
I think you have a good plan there. I think you need a little space to back up and regroup, and like you said - figure out what you want. Then I think you can get your game plan in order.
I think you have a good plan there. I think you need a little space to back up and regroup, and like you said - figure out what you want. Then I think you can get your game plan in order.
This is all absolutely true. Problem is, I'm afraid I'm starting to develop a WAW attitude toward him.
Y'know I think all of us LBSs have that feeling from time to time. You don't know what the straight story from your H is. Does he want a D? Does he want to work on things? The way he's filed multiple times, he's lucky to have you. He had you served so you would take him seriously. TBH - I think he could use a little space, too. He needs to figure out what he really wants. Maybe a taste of being alone would do it? Who knows? Or some bona-fide MC would help get him to really work on things. It's a tough call.
I don't know what it is...maybe all this 180 talk?...but over the last few days - ever since we had that argument a couple of nights ago - I have really felt different about things. I'm just so fed up with him. I'm so fed up with the roller coaster. I'm so fed up with the bs he has put my kids, my family, our friends, me, everyone through. I've told him I do not want to stay in the same hotel room this weekend for the soccer tournament we are going to. It's too confusing for the kids and for me. I'm starting to think I want to move ahead with the D. I can't believe I'm even typing the words...but I'm just SO done.
); I'm saying it may be a consideration to keep things from getting uglier and uglier. Talk to your lawyer, your counselor (if you have one), and some of the men on here. With regard to your children...my kids were my biggest concern with my H left. They were torn up by it, but they are adjusting well because they see us both everyday. We are lucky that we have been able to work out a good system for the time being. Yes, the kids (and I) wish we were all living together, but my husband needed his space...and he needed to learn to miss me and home. Children are more resilient than you think. Trust me on this one. And if in the end, it can improve your chances of a reconciliation, then it's a good thing. Best wishes to you, and I will be dropping by your thread to check on you.