For a variety of reasons (mostly his, but some mine) I still haven't seen him this week. I told him to just handle the stuff on his plate, but to come to the party Saturday with me that I am playing at. He said he'd "try" (he's moving this month and has friends available to help him do some of it Saturday). I made it clear that I expected him to come (new for me, normally I'm much too self-effacing).
I'm going to make it even clearer today, just so there is no mistaking it. I asked him weeks ago to reserve this date. Yes, I know he needs to get stuff done, but he can knock off by 5 pm. Just this once. And if he doesn't, I'll know he's really not capable of being my guy.
This could work out well, though, since his brother is coming to help and he talked about maybe bringing his brother to the party - I would get to meet his brother, they would get to meet my friends, he would get to see me play some rock and roll
Well - Mr. Big Lots didn't make it to the party, despite saying he was "trying" all afternoon. What he doesn't know is after our last call at 6 p.m. (when he said he was in the middle of a job and would call me back) his phone butt-dialed me and I overheard him griping about how he didn't want to go!
So I am done. I don't care HOW busy or overwhelmed you are, you either find a way to make 3 hours time for me (in 2 1/2 weeks!) or you AT LEAST grow a pair, say you can't make it, APOLOGIZE and make some plans to see me in the future.
But, of course, that would be how you treat a woman you are INTERESTED in, not a woman who is just a fun booty call. My bad.
Not to worry, though - the cute Indian computer programmer that I turned down last week, asked me out again. Yes, he's a little too young for me, but heck - if guys my own age like the last one are gonna turn out to be flakes too, I might as well be having fun with a younger guy until someone more appropriate turns up. At least I know where I stand with them. And at least this one is super-smart (without being terminally nerdy) and plays electric guitar. Oh - and gainfully employed! That's a plus. I just realized this morning that all the guys I have dated since my ex were broke!
Well - appropriate for now, maybe. He's too young to be appropriate for anything long-term, but then again, I'm willing to consider dating guys who are just for now.
A friend of mine told me about one of his buddies who is 27 but married a 40-year-old. She was coming out of a divorce and training to become a black belt. He was getting into karate to get in shape and feel better about himself.
Voila. They have been married a couple of years now.
So who knows?
S.F.O. I saw the post about the men from Nigeria. How does anyone fall for this scam. I've had four different emails from women through Match who, according to their pictures, are gorgeous and live a little outside my area. When I responded, a couple of messages later, they turned out to be from Russia and just need a little money to get to America ...
Really. Even if I had the money I'm not that dumb.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Ummmmmmmmmm....cuz he was the most age-and-geographically appropriate guy I had dated and he was a 6'6" handsome hunk of man who loved my big butt? I think that was enough reason to give him a chance or two!
And btw, even now I don't think he was a "bad guy" - just an overwhelmed slightly self-centered and passive-aggressive guy who wasn't quite as into me as I was into him. I'm sure he's scratching his head wondering why I wasn't more patient with him given his personal drama. But I'm trying to avoid those guys that aren't quite that into me, and definitely not going to date someone who can't come out and be straight with me - that's high on my list.
Hey KML: Glad you posted - I was wondering. I doubt any of us are surprised - we could read that one.
I'm curious about why you are now going to date someone else who is not right for you. Too young. Why did you date guys who had no money at all? I thought the purpose of dating was to find someone compatible. I know you say you just want to have some fun but you were seriously looking at the last guy as "relationship" material. So why keep choosing the wrong guys?
CTH: Yes, those women from Russia are right alongside the guys from Nigeria. I think you have to be pretty desperate to "buy it". But often when we've been hurt so badly and we're at our lowest point - we do enjoy having someone pay that much attention to us.
Dating really can be fun. But I think it is more successful when you are choosy about who you go out with and who you decide to share your body with.
I was choosy - for a year - and didn't have sex for almost a year! That's just too long for me.
So I made a decision to date, even if some of the guys were too young or otherwise not right for long-term. And I don't regret that decision - I have a dated a couple of lovely guys who are still good friends, and finally gotten some decent sex out of the deal.
The last guy wasn't inappropriate because of his financial status - as I explained before, he may have been struggling but he had a new business and has no debt, he was in a good position to make a decent income in the future. Since I am able to provide for myself, I care more about a guy's attitudes towards money and debt than I do about what he has right now.
AS for why bother to go out with this next young guy? Why not? It's not like I have a flock of appropriate attractive available guys lining up to date me. I've BEEN looking, believe me! I will keep looking, but in the meantime, I might as well enjoy a few dates with someone interesting. Better than sitting home alone in my book.
I never said Big Lots was a bad guy. I said it was quite clear that he was not that into you, whether or not he is a good guy, whether or not in a different time and place things might be different. Right now, he is not that into you. And that was clear before the missed date, before the pocket dialing.
Now, as a matter of fact, his explanations for the missing time are sketchy. His pocket dialing demonstrates insincerity. All signs point to him being a player. But, whatever. It doesn't matter.
What matters is that you recognized that he was not that into you and then repeatedly explained away your intuition.
