I love the Serenity Prayer lc4. That's a very encouraging Sunday! Expect some pullback now.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
JB, It was encouraging in that he was interacting with me in a positive way in a situation that involved the kids. It's important to me that divorced or not, when we are attending something for or with the kids that we can do that as a unified force. That doesn't mean we have to like each other; it just means we need to get along for their sakes. I felt no encouragement whatsoever that he is once again interested in reconciling - didn't get that feeling from him. On the other hand, he hasn't made a move on the divorce proceedings in a long time; I'm wondering what that is all about, but truly I think it's because he is tapped out financially. I meet with my L tomorrow to discuss just what he thinks is going on and what he thinks we need to do at this point. He is a good Christian man in addition to being a fine lawyer, so I trust his judgment and advice.
I really don't know what I want anymore...for the marriage to just end, for us to reconcile.... I just don't know. That is why I treasure the Serenity Prayer so much, because I need God's help in knowing the difference between what I need to let go and what I need to work on. Tough stuff.
Ughhh...Sorry, Jon! I thought JB had written that post!
See, I at least have you trained on the first name (Johnny Bench vs. Justin Bieber) BTW - my S would be mortified if anyone mistook me for Justin Bieber.
The Serenity prayer gives me good direction.
Originally Posted By: lc4
I meet with my L tomorrow to discuss just what he thinks is going on and what he thinks we need to do at this point. He is a good Christian man in addition to being a fine lawyer, so I trust his judgment and advice.
This is good. Let your L do the mind reading and counsel you in next steps.
Good meeting with my lawyer today. What I like most about him that is addition to doing an excellent job at advocating for my rights/needs and standing up for me (when I'm too weak to do so for myself), he also is a Christian man. He does not "push" religion on his clients whatsoever, but knowing that I am a very spiritual person, he helps talk me through some of the issues from not just a legal point, but also from a Christian point.
He does not think that H or I are 100% certain we want this divorce. He has suggested that I ask my H to participate in joint (NOT using the word "marriage") counseling, not necessarily as a means to reconcile the marriage, but most importantly to reconcile some issues we have in communicating so we can be effective co-parents SHOULD we divorce. So I'm presenting that to my H, and he can take it from there. If he wishes to pursue the divorce (my lawyer hasn't heard from his in 1 1/2 months), then the ball remains in his court. If he'd like to participate in joint counseling, all he has to do is give me the word, and I'll call the therapist my attorney highly suggested.
If I've been told once, I've been told 1,000 times...when it's right to give up, you know. And I won't just know for a few hours or a couple of days or weeks, it will be a feeling and a truth that sticks with me. I am nowhere near that point right now, and my attorney sees that in me. He sees the same in my H's actions. So...taking deep breaths, continuing to focus on making life great for the kids and me, but keeping my heart and mind open to what God's will is. I believe there is a "good" lesson somewhere in all this turmoil for me; I'm just trying to figure out what it is.
So H is in agreement (again) on joint counseling. We'll see if 1) it actually happens and 2) how long he's willing to stick it out. But once I put the suggestion out there, he immediately "thawed" and agreed. Again, we have to communicate A LOT during the day, coordinating the kids and their activities, homework, etc. So it's nice that we were able to do that in not just a civil, but a friendly way today. He reached out to chit chat a few times as well.
And so, the roller coaster creeps up, up, up once again...expecting the worst, hoping for the best.
That's great that he agreed to go, definitely some baby steps there.
Reading your description of meeting with L makes me a lot less fearful about it. Hopefully I can find a good Christian one like you did, it's really great that he's not pushing you forward with the D against your will. Maybe this won't be so bad for me after all.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Reading your description of meeting with L makes me a lot less fearful about it. Hopefully I can find a good Christian one like you did, it's really great that he's not pushing you forward with the D against your will. Maybe this won't be so bad for me after all.
Jon, definitely take your time to find someone who fits your personality and needs. I was fortunate that an attorney friend in my church referred me to my attorney, knowing what I value as well as the fact that I needed someone to be a voice for me when I couldn't find mine. I assure you, if/when you meet the right attorney for you, you will feel a sense of relief after meeting with them.
lc4, I'm glad to hear you are so happy with your atty. I'm especially glad to hear there are some out there with good Christian values. I am hoping if I have to cross that bridge, I will find one that's just as good. I am fortunate enough that one of the pastors at my church is a bailiff in our county's court system.
It's good to hear your H is amenable to the counseling. You have a healthy perspective - it's a good baby step, but you are holding out to see if he sticks with it.
So H is in agreement (again) on joint counseling. We'll see if 1) it actually happens and 2) how long he's willing to stick it out. But once I put the suggestion out there, he immediately "thawed" and agreed. Again, we have to communicate A LOT during the day, coordinating the kids and their activities, homework, etc. So it's nice that we were able to do that in not just a civil, but a friendly way today. He reached out to chit chat a few times as well.
And so, the roller coaster creeps up, up, up once again...expecting the worst, hoping for the best.
That's great news. I would take your time and see what happens.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Just change the JB to Jon!!! I so appreciate your input!
(Johnny Bench vs. Justin Bieber) BTW - my S would be mortified if anyone mistook me for Justin Bieber. 
