As far as the weekend, I'm leaving that be. In the car I'd mentioned that I'd hoped we could get together Sunday because the weather might be better. She didn't respond. So, I left it and at the door asked "would you like to get together this weekend" She said "I have to check and see what my roommates are doing, we'll see" So, I've made the offer, she can let me know if she has an available time and if she doesn't I won't suggest it again this week. She is going through a hard day, her last day at work and she has to say goodbye to all her clients and that's hard. She works with a 90 year old lady who she's cared for the last couple of years. It's a sad day. I am not a priority, nor should I be. As far as going from 0-60 in 2.3 seconds, that certainly is possible but keep in mind it wasn't me that wanted frequent contact, she instigated FB and texting. I've always found women tend to want more contact than guys, well me anyway. Also she was the one who wanted to tell me her story, I didn't prod it out of her. She just said "there are some things I want you to know" So, ss far as being scared, yes we both probably are. We both have reason to be! So, I'm gonna mellow out, check in with her briefly tonight if she's online and just enjoy watching my football game by myself!
In my last R my wife, before she was my wife, asked me "why don't you call me every night?" It had never occurred to me to do so, I didn't need that frequent contact. I said "if you'd like me to, I can" What a romantic devil I was...NOT!
Josh and I call every other night and have since the beginning. It works best for us despite the fact we are a long distance couple. It gives each of us time to do other things because no one should ever be defined by their R alone. Gives us more to talk about too. Of course - sometimes we call each other for other reasons or because we have something we really want to share but we try not to take up a lot of time with text, email etc. We use them when necessary.
I like that we are together every weekend but still have time to ourselves during the week. It works for us.
I can understand that, Barb. I've never been one who had to have intense contact with his R partner. I do find the FB messaging with MM much more fun than the phone. It's kind of mysterious and I can flirt better than in person I find. The other night she said she hadn't been able to sleep and I wrote "you couldn't stop thinking of older brother, right?" and her reply was "hehehehehe thinking of older brother, ha!" It's fun talking and teasing. I've always hated the phone, the dead silence while you both try and figure out what to say next! Anyway, tonight I just FB'd MM and said "Dad cleaned the dishes tonight" (she'd joked with my D17 last night not to worry about dishes Dad would do them) "I hope all went well today. Last days can be tough. I'm thinking of you (which I wrote in Tagalog)" and that will be it for tonight. I think you might be right Barb, we've had enough of each other for one week and both of us are a bit overwhelmed! Tonight, I watch the Argos take on the Lions. Aaaaargooooooos!
I checked in briefly with her. She thanked me for my message and said "I'm OK, don't worry about me" and I said "Don't worry, I'm not worried!" She said "then thank you for not being worried" She told me she was cleaning her room and doing laundry at the same time, so we bantered a minute about that and I said I had to go pick up my D from a friends place so "happy cleaning. Bye bye." She made no mention of the weekend and I won't be begging.I mentioned it twice yesterday that's enough, it's in her ball park. If she wants to do something she can let me know. I've got other things I can do. Back to watching the Argos stink the place out!
I have been following along with your story here wii. You may not like what I say and I certainly don't mean to rain on your parade but my gut tells me she is not as in to you as you are in to her. Her reaction to the hand holding situation, some of her comments to you and putting you off regarding this weekend seem to be telling to me - even with the cultural differences. It seems to me that for her you are a friend that she has let herself go a bit too far with emotionally and now she is trying to figure out how to reel things back in. I may be wrong and hope that I am - just be real careful here. You are very vulnerable.
One thing about messaging versus talking on the phone. Eventually, if things go they way you want you'll be spending lots of time together and ..... you'll have to talk.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I'm quite OK with talking, I'm just not a phone person. Last Saturday we were out for eight hours and we talked constantly. Thursday we spent about five hours together. We're very good at talking. Why she's messaging me at 1:00am to say "goodnight" is beyond me and I'm not gonna try and figure it out either. I got an apartment to clean and humidity to endure!
Why she's messaging me at 1:00am to say "goodnight" is beyond me and I'm not gonna try and figure it out either. I got an apartment to clean and humidity to endure!