PLEASE!!! Need help quick! Calling all vets!

[InAPickle]

What does it mean to fight for marriage?
With whom are we fighting? Our walkaways? Ourselves?
Does it mean, persuade, convince, delay the inevitable?

I ask these questions, because they invoke certain images:
pictures of our whole world crashing down around us,
pictures of our children without having a mom and dad in love,
pictures of me growing old alone and without a companion,
pictures of a future so ghastly different from the one we just yesterday had taken completely for granted.

But nobody knows the future, and you can picture whatever you want. You've lost (or should I say never had) control of any future involving your WAS. But you still control you.

Fighting for marriage may mean other things now.
It may mean giving your WAS freedom to learn what they really want (maybe one day - M).
It may mean giving your WAS time to heal from whatever.
It may mean standing up for your dignity and vows regardless.
It may mean an indefinate waiting for some crazy miracle.
It may mean moving forward with your own life and living well.
It may mean doing only the things you have control over.

There is absolutely no guarantees that:

Any day now s/he'll come to their senses and say "WTF am I doing!"
S/he won't ride off into the sunset with their fantasy,
in 30 days you'll both wake up and realize it was all a nightmare.

Do you see where this is going?
Don't let fear of an unknown future paralyze you.
The future is still your friend.
Be strong Tad. Show the world your strength.

We'll keep you in our prayers.
Pic

[Michael1]

Tad: I'm not an experienced DBer but I am in this very familiar situation. Everything I've said and written to her about r, m, kids etc has fallen on deaf ears. W just doesn't respond or responds with a cold one liner. We have hearing today to modify provisional agreement. I initially agreed to the normal every other wknd thing and support as well as giving her the house. After she couldn't refinance house, she wanted to have me kicked out. I'm now asking for the house and joint custody of our children. She refused/s to talk anything about reconciliation and believes that her retaining primary custody of the children is whats best for them. I disagree. I'm totally involved in there lives. But the response is really just a waist of time and emotions. I've learned the hard way for over a year. They've made up their minds and anything or anyone that doesn't support their agenda is blocked.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

How did the phone call go Tad?

[tadpole1025]

Wow Jack. You crack me up!

I DID NOT call or text her. I have not responded at all.

Seeking, I hope you are right about NOT responding actually sending a stronger message.

This all just feels so wrong.

Tad

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Tad,

I am impressed, very. Pretty sure that I would have caved and called her.

[ericmsant2]

Tad,

I too am impressed...caused I KNOW I would have called or text...

Then again, did you do anything else...maybe a fb post or something that she would see? Com'on dude...fess up!

[25yearsmlc]

there's another possibility I thought of today.

if you really sincerely fear looking rude (which I doubt b/c I think you want to reach out as you have done every other time....but I could be wrong)


"W, I got your text. I'm sure there's a perfect response to your message, but it escapes me right now."- Tad

[AntoniaB]

OMG 25years. That was soooo priceless :-)

[AJM]

It may be priceless, but Tad, I am incredibly impressed with you right now. Actually, as I think it over, very impressed by you overall. You are very thoughtful and make very strong decisions. Especially for somebody here...

AJ

[punkin]

Tad,

Allow me to add my cudos to those above. What you did(or didn't do) took much guts and strength of will. But I believe it was the Right Thing to DO.