Somewhere between filing and D

[Drew]

I thought I read that Jon already responded to the initial petition.

[jon2911]

Thanks lc4,
I did file the answer, and verified today that it was received. Thanks for sharing that part of your sitch as well. I can only hope for the same.

The answer I was wondering about here was whether to respond to W's text from Friday night "Sorry I haven't e-mailed, been feeling sickly". W's migraines have been such a big part of our sitch, and have put her on disability now. It's tempting to think of her lack of action as second thoughts, or the text as reaching out. The "e-mail she's referring to though is financial homework from her L. Seems best to leave her alone a little longer.

As of tonight it's 3 weeks completely dark. I guess I haven't had to do the LRT yet in 4 years of separation, this feels so different. Staying dark to see what happens.

Appreciate you stopping by Drew, I value your advice.


Jon Webster

[MichelleLT]

Hey Jon, sorry I haven't been online much. My personal laptop got stolen on Saturday, so it's made my internet connection a bit hit and miss.

Yes, you have to respond to the petition. Yes, it's good that you stated your position about the D.

No, you don't have to respond to her text. It's not really business related, and while you feel sympathy, by not responding you are changing the dynamics. Through all this time of S, you have not really done the LRT. Every time she has reached out you have been there. For a while, that seemed to be working. But then she refiled for D, so time to LRT in my opinion. Don't let her draw you in, don't let her know that you're still on the hook.

Now, when she sends you something like, e-mailed you the stuff, you can then respond with a thanks, sorry you haven't been feeling well. Or a thanks I'll look at that as soon as I get a chance. Or something else polite.

[jon2911]

Thanks Michelle! Sorry to hear about your laptop, that stinks.

Finally, after another week of silence, she e-mailed me some homework from her L yesterday. I responded that I would work on it.

This dynamic change is hard, but we'll see where it goes.


Jon Webster
Revostock

[jon2911]

Nothing from W, no texts or e-mails. I guess she's going dark on me LOL. We do need to take care of business stuff at some point though.

Instead of tax papers she sent a whole box of my piano music, must have been at her grandparents ranch. Very mixed emotions getting those. One day at a time.

[jon2911]

Did a 10-mile weekend run, great time playing at church all day yesterday and a lunch with the worship team.

4 miles this morning with my roommate and got right to work after. I have an office at the seminary I can use, and he works here too. I've been lax with my schedule because my job is mobile. That can be a real benefit if I don't take advantage of it, but I need to give myself more structure for now. Going to do that this week and post how it goes.

Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and keep moving. The "Jesus Calling" devotional I read every morning said "When many things seem to be going wrong, trust Me. When your life feels increasingly out of control, thank Me. These are supernatural responses, and they can lift you above your circumstances."

So I thanked Him for W's headaches, all the trouble we've gone through, and even the D. That was hard to do, but helpful.

[jon2911]

Did a 10-mile weekend run, great time playing at church all day yesterday and a lunch with the worship team.

4 miles this morning with my roommate and got right to work after. I have an office at the seminary I can use, and he works here too. I've been lax with my schedule because my job is mobile. That can be a real benefit if I don't take advantage of it, but I need to give myself more structure for now. Going to do that this week and post how it goes.

Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and keep moving. The "Jesus Calling" devotional I read every morning said "When many things seem to be going wrong, trust Me. When your life feels increasingly out of control, thank Me. These are supernatural responses, and they can lift you above your circumstances."

So I thanked Him for W's headaches, all the trouble we've gone through, and even the D. That was hard to do, but helpful.

[ncl]

I like this update, Jon. You are in a good place! You are training for White Rock, right? Are you planning on running the 1/2 or full? I have several friends who run it each year, and I was training for it last year, but then had a severe back injury that ended my running career. Now I just stick to Pilates for the most part as well as a little biking and walking. Know that I'll be cheering you on in spirit at race time!

No doubt that your faith plays a big part in how well you are doing. I know praising Jesus in the storms of life isn't always easy, but you are on the right track. He is leading you to a better station in life, with or without your wife.

I pray things continue to look up for you.

peace, lc4

[jon2911]

Thanks lc4. I actually live down the street from White Rock, finally taking advantage of it for running, biking and canoeing. And yes, the marathon there as well. I'm planning to run the full, crazy as that sounds. Never thought I could do that, on track with the halhigdon.com training program so far.

It's strange, starting this training I knew that by the time of the marathon, I'd either be D'd or have positive changes with my W. I'm becoming cool with either.

Still nothing except the box of piano music. Nothing from her lawyer, nothing moving this forward, no tax papers. Very interesting. Yesterday a text asking for AT&T's customer service number. I responded later in the day, asked if she got an iPhone. She said no. So, the complete dark has been broken, we'll see from here.

I read back through my first 3 threads today. So many ups and downs. So many positives at times, but she never quite wanted to get help and try and reconcile. And I had a lot that I never worked on either. So sad.

Here they are in all their glory:
[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1333871] Better late than never? 11/26/07 [/url]
[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1463293] Status Unknown 5/30/08 [/url]
[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1501867] The Road Goes Ever On 6/30/08 [/url]
Positive Developments? 8/07/08
[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1955194] Positive Developments? #2 10/29/08 [/url]
[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2142916] How much longer in separated? 3/10/10 [/url]

[jon2911]

Better late than never? 11/26/07