Why was there no course map for this marathon?

[jbnati]

I had my S tonight. Unfortunately, we didn't have a ton of quality time together. I ended up getting my first round of vaccinations at CVS for my Belize mission trip coming up in February. That pretty much shot an hour. However, I'm even a little more stoked about my trip now. We came home and I made a batch of baked ziti for tonight and the rest of the week. On Friday evening, I had blown a GFCI circuit in the garage, but I just discovered tonight the problem was a little more widespread, so I had to troubleshoot and remedy the problem tonight. I traced it down to a bad GFCI outlet in the garage, replaced it, and that appeared to cure the problem. By that time, my time with my S was shot tonight. He will be with my W tomorrow night He was pretty discouraged. I tried my best to put a positive spin on it.

With all the stuff going on tonight, I really didn't think about my situation or my W tonight.

[In_Shock]

dude, you and I are up too late. (I know you mentioned where you are once -- you're actually about 3 hours north of me... (I'm right near the 'river city'....and i get the Ohio Valley Gunk allergies yearly!~)

Check out my thread. I've had a really really hard night, capped off with a nice (NOT) R talk I shouldn't have let myself get into......

Man, you are a man of many talents. Biking, GFCI circuits, and baked ziti. You need to come visit. S and I would love some baked ziti and I have tons of cool things you could do around the house if you got bored Try to get some sleep.... you deserve it!!

[jbnati]

The sad thing is I'm trying to get some work done tonight for my job.

I just hit your thread I'm sorry it's been such a rough evening.

I guess you could say I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. And no, the j in jbnati does not stand for Jack.

[jbnati]

As I will do from time to time, I do some thinking about my situation and we got to the place we are, and I'll post some random thoughts to share. I've probably said this before, but I've used different words.

I think part the reason we got to where we are is we have different philosophies on M and in some cases, life in general. Since day 1, I have never considered D being an option. Well, my W? Different story. What's your incentive to work on the M if D is on the table as an option?

I think I am guilty for using this to my advantage earlier on in our M. At times, I thought my W had to take the crap I would dish out. I would probably be considered to be controlling - at least she considered me that way.

Several years ago, my W first brought up the D word. TBH, it kind of cut both ways. Part of me responded in improving myself. Part of me shut down in communicating. I was walking on eggshells.

That all being said, my approach life has typically been to continuously improve myself and to make the best of the circumstances at hand. My W deosn't appear to be one to make radical changes in herself, but she is apt to be a lot quicker at just change the circumstances - not necessarily for the better. I thinks she tends to push buttons, just looking for the right combination. I think I tend to take responsibility for my circumstances and she makes her circumstances repsonsible for how she's feeling.

Sounds like a recipe for a DB'er and a WAW, huh?

Just sharing some random semi-coherent thoughts. Some stinkin' thinkin'

[MadeToSucceed]

I understand the thinking back on the past all too well jb. I think we've both been pretty good at taking accountability for our own actions and most DB'ers eventually realize that they HAVE to take the path that you've chosen: improving yourself. If not, you can't ever grow and become the person your W will truly regret leaving and/or the person your W decides to return to.

I think for some it is easier to just take the flight end of the fight or flight approach. It's hard facing issues and trying to deal with them productively. As a result, some people are more inclined to just act as if a "change of scenery" will fix whatever lies beneath. It seems that the WAS primarily reacts off of emotion and whatever that emotion is in any given moment is how they respond.

Keep doing what you're doing but out of curiosity, have you ever expressed to your W your feelings in your 3rd paragraph there?

[jbnati]

Thanks MTS.

Keep doing what you're doing but out of curiosity, have you ever expressed to your W your feelings in your 3rd paragraph there?

Are you asking about the paragraph about me being controlling? If so, she actually brought that up awhile back. TBH at first I didn't get it. She told me she didn't want to be controlling in one sentence and then that she wanted me to be more of a man in another. After a few years I finally started to get it. Actually what I meant by that paragraph, too, is that I assumed she didn't consider D an option either. I think those were some times I did some damage.

[jbnati]

I had a very brief interaction with my W tonight. She was a little late to pick up my S and I had to leave pretty much at the same time she showed up. It was a pleasant exchange tonight. She seemed really tired. She said she was doing well and that she liked her job. As she was walking to the car she apologized for not asking me how I was doing. I just told her I was doing pretty good, maybe a little sore from my vaccines for my mission trip, but doing pretty well.

I had my healing relationships group tonight at church, a.k.a. the ladies' group. It was a great meeting tonight. We talked about rest in relationship to Psalm 23 (He makes me lie down in green pastures). Very good meeting tonight.

After that, it was time to do some more GAL'ing. I went for a 1+ mi. run followed by a 17 mi. bike ride, all under the cover of darkness. So 1 mile on the ground and 17 through the air. Sorry, bad football metaphor, actually very bad. I guess I'll give myself tomorrow off of exercise.

[LITB]

I have some catching up to do JB. Where is it that you are going that you needed the vaccines?

I know that I will find consistency in your GAL activities. Be careful catching any air on that bike. I'll use your favorite smiley.

[jbnati]

Thanks for checking in LITB and especially for the use of my good friend:

Where is it that you are going that you needed the vaccines?

I'm going on a mission trip to Belize in February.

[LITB]

That smiley is perfect for this month. You will have to hook it up for halloween. lol

The trip to Belize will be awesome for many reasons.