Somewhere between filing and D

[jon2911]

[url= http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1463293] Status Unknown 5/30/08 [/url]

[jon2911]

Better late than never? 11/26/07

Status Unknown 5/30/08

The Road Goes Ever On 6/30/08

Positive Developments? 8/07/08

Positive Developments? #2 10/29/08

How much longer in separated? 3/10/10

[jon2911]

These lyrics are hitting me today, new record by the David Crowder Band, love the Abraham and Isaac reference:

"I lift a knife to the thing I love most
Praying you come so I can have both
What I need is You to touch me
What I need is for You to be the thing that I need"

[jon2911]

Nothing from W. Just enjoying life and living one day at a time. I might be buying a Jetta also, my friend has a great deal on one. Feels good.

All I can hope is that going dark will work. It's still hard for me at times. I need to set some goals and start taking care of things around the house better. Enjoying just being a bachelor

[jon2911]

with my roommate right now though.

[jon2911]

Camping with some guys this weekend, looking forward to it! Have a great weekend everyone!

[jon2911]

Camping was a great time. Still nothing from W. Staying dark and focused.

[jon2911]

So here's an update, and call for advice:

Nothing from W for a while. I've been sending her financial numbers her L asked for.

Last week I received a notice from her L that the "final hearing" is scheduled for December 15th. First thing I've received from her L.

I called W and the notice was news to her, she hadn't received it yet. I asked if she's sent anything else for me, she said no. She's still working on getting tax paperwork together. I told her I'm still working on my end.

She sounded soft, no edge to her voice at all. I pressed her a little bit, asking if her L needs anything more from me to settle.

She said "my L's been difficult to deal with". She also hadn't really looked at the financial numbers I've sent.

I told her I'd check with mine to see what this means.

She then said "so...", and I could tell she wanted to say more, but then cut herself off and said "just check with yours and let me know".

My guess is that she's been feeling terrible with her migraines, and that doesn't necessarily mean second thoughts, but she's definitely not pushing this through. Maybe the going dark is working? What should my strategy be from here?

I caught up with my L today, and he said it sounds like December 15th she'll need to appear before the judge, and I can with a L or not. I'd need to get a L in her county though. I need to ask W what she wants from the D, and if her L will draw it up. I'm supposed to let him know what she says.

[jon2911]

Played phone tag with W over the weekend, got an e-mail at 2:45 AM thanking me for working on the "homework" and asking "what time may I call you today"?

Time to find out what she really wants.

[jon2911]

Talked to W after the last post, asked her "is this what you really want?" She said "yes", softly, and "I'll let you know if that changes".

I e-mailed her what I would agree to in the settlement, and that if her lawyer will draw it up I'll sign. She sounded confused and asked "wouldn't that mean changing your original answer?"

What? I've told her this a few times. Explained that I had to answer so she wouldn't get a default judgement, but that I'm OK with signing something reasonable.

I called her a week later, before Thanksgiving, and told her I'd be not far from her as usual. Asked if she needed me to print and bring anything signed to speed things up. She said no, and said she would e-mail me if she needed anything. I asked where she was going for thanksgiving, and she said the Ranch.

Honestly, that took the pressure off over Thanksgiving, and I was able to have a great time at the beach in Galveston. Lots of W memories there, but made it through. Now it's been a week again, and nothing from W.

The final hearing is the 15th. Looks like I'll have to go. Shared with the guys at recovery group tonight, and they think it's so strange. I haven't seen any settlement offer? How can they even schedule a final hearing without that?

It doesn't necessarily mean she's having second thoughts. However, I'm feeling good either way. This has been a long road. We ran a Black Friday-Cyber Monday sale at work that was a massive success.

So, any advice from my fellow DBers? My stance has been to not stand in the way, but not help the process along either. FaithfulH had success with that. What does love look like at this point? Drive her to the courthouse if she needs it, and this is what she really wants? Crazy I know, just wondering.