He moved out of OW house. Told her it was done. He moved home. He is remorseful. Puttimg his paycheck back into our joint acct as he had pulled it out awhile ago. So....help.
He moved out of OW house. Told her it was done. He moved home. He is remorseful. Puttimg his paycheck back into our joint acct as he had pulled it out awhile ago. So....help.
wow, not sure what you are asking.
I am glad he's out of the OW's place....very glad.
But I sure wish you had taken WAY more time before he moved back in.
but he's there now.
So what are you asking?
I mean, if he is NOT willing to do anything that would reduce the chance of leaving you guys again, or to address his problem drinking and the financial issues
(fwiw, of course he's putting the money in the family joint account. Where else would it go?)
and if
neither you or the children are allowed to discuss what happened b/c that's "throwing it in his face"....what's your question?
I mean I guess you have to work on amnesia.
Hey I'm all for staying in the present but not like this. This is a major exercise in denial...
act like it "never happened"...
You don't have a lot of power unless you are willing to kick him out if he doesn't shape up and do some things that reassure you that HE is different, while knowing you won't repeat your mistakes either, which means doing the hard part
not the easy "here are some flowers and I'll compliment you"...that's the easy stuff.
Addressing HIS issues while you address yours, is where the real work comes in.
Life, I cannot imagine this lasting without serious individual and marital counselling ( and more), and down the road if he's well enough and honest enough, Retrovaille.
why'd you take him back so fast?
Were there ANY conditions on it?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Is she? then he can get the standard tests and end that dilemma fast.
It's MUCH harder for a woman to give a man AIDS than the reverse.
If she's just come out of a long m, then I wonder what purpose this "test" really serves...??
My h is an MD and I guess I just trusted that he'd be careful enough in the event of OW...
I cannot imagine enjoying that conversation or waiting for the results.
It's your life. If it were me, and it was once upon a time, I'd bag the tests. But I'm not you so do what makes you feel safe.
But for the life of me, this is yet another one of those things that ought to have been discussed earlier. Funny thing, you are NOW thinking of these things?
I hope this works out for you. I really do. If it doesn't, don't blame DBing please.
Good luck, I look forward to your answers
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I guess I'm not clear on when we shouldve talked about std testing? I told him this a while back that would be a stipulation. He made the appt. I won't blame DBing. I am looking at each thing as a babystep. Every night has been a late night of talking. Discussing attending an addiction support group together.
She doesn't have to be a ho, just stupid/careless! My BFF's H (allegedly) cheated just once, with an OW who (claims to have)cheated on H only once on her H, and my friend got an STD from him/them.
She doesn't have to be a ho, just stupid/careless! My BFF's H (allegedly) cheated just once, with an OW who (claims to have)cheated on H only once on her H, and my friend got an STD from him/them.
Better safe than sorry!
it IS better to be safe than sorry but
someone in that story of your bff's, isn't telling the truth.
Or they do some wacky intense and unusual sexual things...sorry but I don't believe it.
I had a lawsuit involving a defendant with HIV who had sex with OWs. They sued and he was also charged with "attempted murder" which I objected to b/c there was "no intent" on his end. Without going into the legalities and technical jargon of the case
I ended up learning a lot of stuff about STDs that I did not necessarily ever want to know. But among them were the "least likely methods of transmission" and the "most likely."
Based on that info, either someone in your friends' situation is lying (most likely)
or they have the worst statistical luck possible on all ends b/c it would mean that the man the "careless OW" was with, transmitted a disease to her with ONE event, and that she then transmitted it to the bff's h with a One night stand... and that he then gave it to her...
In sum,
It is MUCH more difficult for a Woman to transmit an STD to a man, than it is for a man to transmit it to a woman.
but do what makes YOU feel safe, Life.
If he made the appt then the MD will know what to test for and he can tell the doctor what types of sex they had, if drugs were used, etc.
I would not want a lot of details if it were me. Just a clean bill of health.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
