ML, I went back to the same place where I used to go with X. I think it is a little sad, yes, but I would also say that forming new memories and making the places "yours" again is a good feeling. Also, I was surprised that it didn't bug me as much as I thought.
Later, I went back w/New Guy. It was fun to show him a place that I knew.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
well this all baffles me so much, ex hasnt bothered with son at all for another two years, and all in all out of the seven years he as been gone can honestly say he as only bothered with him for around 18 months total, and that was not really the father/son relationship that they used to have. Although fast forward and although son says he wouldnt bother with his father now I think deep down if the skank was gone he would, but tell me why oh why cant the ex bother with his only child but he is being the do-gooder by looking after, helping, providing for, guiding and caring for some other young man, who yes was a friend of both of us, and this laddy is in serious trouble with the law, for drug dealing, using, drunk driving and beating his partner up in front of their two children, and yet my sons father chooses to take him under his wing and give him all the love and affection and help that he should be giving his son. also on the same note that if our son had committed the offences this other young lad has back in the day ex would of wiped his hands of him and told him and punished him for his offences, so folks what is the difference. why tend and care to someone elses son when you cant tend and care to your own. mmmmmmmm
ML, I think it is because they can feel superior. At least I believe that with my ex. It means that he can be "helping" them and they are oh so grateful because they are more screwed up than he is.
I think MLCers seek imbalanced relationships where they are the ones "not messed up."
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Mandy, I agree w/forward...the mlcer wants someone to look up to them and put them on a pedestal. They also want to be able to say that they helped the individuals who need assistance. Keep in mind, the mlcer doesn't want to be judged by his own flesh and blood, i.e., children. Children have a history w/the mlcers and the mlcers know this and do not want to be put on notice whenever the children require their time or assistance.
Mandy, this is very typical of mlcers. I am sorry to hear that he is doing this. There will come a time when your son will have his say, but it may be several years down the road. Hopefully by that time, your son's father will be ready to listen.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Forward I no longer think that ex will be in touch with either myself or son, I think it as all been far too long gone, I personally will never ever understand how he could just abandon and forget about his only child, and I too hope that he only pops out of the woodwork when he needs help from son, that would be just so unfair, harsh as it might sound but if he cannot contact him for any other reason then why when he needs help, or on another note if he is on his death bed, nope sorry to say I dont think he will ever be in touch again, I think he is waiting for son to go to him, if that happens it happens but not in the near future do I see son running to him, regards forward, keep smiling hun xxx
I think the Ml'er is somewhat of a predator. They feed off of the vulnerable and naive. The stander has the Ml'ers number. We know what they are and what makes them tick. The Ml'er does not want us to know the true them so they move on......maybe due to guilt and shame.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
