I re-read this list at least once a week, especially when I know that I'm about to have a phone conversation with WAW. Thanks so much for posting these in an easy to find place!
These rules sound great; too bad I wasn't following them sooner, but its not to late.....I think?
Anyway, I was looking at #36 and the bar scene causing problems. What kind of problems does it mean? I can't stay home ALL the time and I need to get something in my life to make me happy. Music and a drink every now and then is no good? Maybe it means something that I wouldn't do anyway. Thanks:)
M-59 H-58 2 S, 1 D 2 Gr. Ch. T 20 YRS M 17 YRS ILYBINILWY 4/21/12 Caught H and OW 5/25/12 H Left 6/5/12
"Do not regret growing older...It is a privilege denied to many."
What about when you haven't had any contact with your spouse? I thought that in November we were on the way to a possible reconciliation. The OW threw him out because he had been with me but after 3 weeks she took him back. Now we don't talk or have any contact. I'm crushed and am trying to just keep away. He doesn't live with me and I'm not sure how to be. Reach out sometimes to remind him I'm alive? Totally back off and let him be with this relationship? Let him screw it up himself? I don't know anymore.
M-59 H-58 2 S, 1 D 2 Gr. Ch. T 20 YRS M 17 YRS ILYBINILWY 4/21/12 Caught H and OW 5/25/12 H Left 6/5/12
"Do not regret growing older...It is a privilege denied to many."
Staying away from bar scenes is just my personal opinion. If you can handle it, then that is your choice, but the "other problems" I was referring to is when one may drink too much on top of their vulnerability and they may tend to make bad decisions. Everything from one night stands, causing jealousy, getting into physical fights, etc., are examples of what I meant.
When I wrote that, I had been following a couple of threads where they would go to the bars and end up with more problems.
If you are not living with your S and he is interested in OP, you need to go dark.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
