As a newcomer I LOVE this post. My husband keeps telling me it is over and that I shouldn't think this is salvageable. I did things wrong until finding this site. I was begging and pleading; emailing and texting; would basically lick the floor if he asked me to do so. I am pathetic. There is a list a mile long of names he has called me and trying to "drill" it in my head "it is over, just except it". Boy do I wish I could. But I can't and that is what brought me here.
To be able to read these "rules" over and over have helped so much. When he does say those things, it gives me hope that he doesn't mean it. It hurts so bad that it is unbearable and I feel like I could explode. Now I can just read this and feel better.
Thanks again!!!
Me: 40 H: 44 M:3 years T: 4 years Me: S9, D7 H: SS8; Twins: SD1=10 and SD2=10 Both married before.
I printed this the day I found it. (4 days ago). I have probably read it 30 or 40 times since then. There is something comforting about a list. Thank you.
I don't know if I'll be able to save the marriage, but at least I feel hope and a sense that I can heal.
M: 38 H: 39 D: 20 S: 18 S: 16 T: 14 Y ILYBIDKIILWY/Affair 01/12/2013 Came Back 01/15/2013 Left Again 02/13/2013
As a newcomer I have pulled up the page on my iPhone and screenshotted the rules and set it as my lock screen that way I can look at the rules anytime.
Great list! I'd say don't get rid of any of the rules, they are there for a reason! I fully understand why number 10 has to be there, I sometimes have a go and look at H's facebook page to see if there's any activity on there (he doesn't go on that much!) or he's added someone else. It is tormenting and I should really delete him off my fb page but for some reason I can't bring myself to do this just yet! My H is going to see a solicitor sometime in July to start the divorce proceedings. He was going to see her in June, but he delayed it for a month as he felt I wasn't talking to him! (this was when I first started the LRT). Hopefully by keeping up with this list and the LRT, he may delay it again if he thinks I'm still not talking to him! I've just got to find a way for him to realise I'm not talking to him as much on the phone as there's always some reason I've got to phone him and it is urgent things that can't wait! He wanted me to phone him tonight to let him know how my son did in his exams, but I wanted a night off Since starting the LRT/180 list and now Sandi's list, H is now contacting me more and trying to interact more with me. Last Saturday he ended up helping run a stall at the Church fete when originally he was only going to be there to pick up our son. He bought me a burger, a cupcake and a mug of coffee. Well there's progress for you! I was confused about the bar scene rule, but after having it explained then I can understand that! You don't have to be in a bar though. I went out with my friend on Sunday and when I got back home my H was waiting for me. He was talking to me, but because I'd had a couple of drinks I wasn't that bothered when he started talking negatively to me. In fact I wasn't really interested at all in what he had to say! I'm not perfect! When he first told me he was filing for D, I begged and pleaded with him. I did a whole load of things that the list tells you not to do! I've learnt since
