I posted back in Spring 2010 on my situation. Wife had affair with boss from bank, typical story. During course of all this she had me put in jail for "threats" via phone call (I told her I'd "choke" her out of getting any more of my money, which constitutes a "threat," I discovered), so I had to live in a hotel for five months while still paying all bills. Wife continued affair, and we agreed to divorce in May of last year.
As a result, I've been trying to recover financially since then. I'm paying off all debts we jointly owned, plus some back taxes incurred during divorce (I had to under pay taxes to help with cash flow). I agreed to live in our house (that she picked out) and refinance within a year.
Ive been trying to refinance the house, but the bank has a wrong SS # for me on the loan, even though I've been the only one paying it!! I asked how this happened and they said it is possibly a "data entry" error!! So I've been requesting the forms needed to get MY SS# back on the loan. I've done this twice already, and never received the forms. So I called today and asked what address they are sending my forms to, and it turns out, they are sending them to HER new address!!
Today I get a certified mail from a new attorney she has retained demanding we change some aspects of the divorce decree, including having the kids (11 and 7) change schools to her school district (she lives with her boss now), elimination of a vacation I take with them every winter, and putting the house up for sale due to lack of refinancing!
I've worked hard to forgive her and tried to work on just getting out from under, but it gets so exhausting, as I'm sure you guys know. She is SO mean spirited. Sometimes I just wonder when she will have negative consequences come back around her way, since it seems she enjoys creating this turmoil and always gets away with it.
I don't trust her, and I hate that I feel like she always finds a way to put fear into my life. Now I have to find a new atty, even though I'm still in debt 13K to the old one!
Well you definitely need an attorney to deal with the petition she is making. How long have the kids been in the current school disctrict? I would think if they have been going to the same schools for more than a year or two that the stability of keeping them there is greater than bowing to her desire of convenience to move them to another school just because she is now living with the OM. Seems to me on that issue you would be in the driver's seat.
What is the custody arrangaement you currently have? Do you have equal custody of them? What is her reasoning for eliminating the winter vacation time you have - is it always during the Christmas holiday or something?
Regarding the house, do you want to stay in it or would you rather sell it and find someplace new to start over? If you really want to stay in the house, then I would take the petition you received to the bank and tell whatever loan officer you are talking to that you need to closer the refinancing deal sooner rather than later and if they can't then I would immediately shop around for another lending organization who may be more willing to help you.
Hope the above helps and that things get better for you!
Um....wait....she had an affair with her boss from the bank? And now your bank keeps screwing up your efforts to refi? It's not the same bank, is it??? If so, I'd be worried about whether they were messing with you (although mostly, yes, banks are that stupid. Go in and insist on speaking with the manager).
Bank she worked at isn't bank that mortgage is with, thank God! I've decided to contact the best divorce lawyer in town that I can find. He has a 250 buck consultation fee, so I'm going to go in with as many questions to get answered as I can.
What makes me most sad is that she is still up to her tricks over a year later. So hard to stay nice when I talk to her, since she pretends like nothing is wrong. Ugh.
We have shared custody. Not sure why she wants to eliminate my vacation with boys. I'm wondering if this is an opportunity to ask for reduced child support? I pay an arm and a leg, but my income will probably be reduced this year and I might lost my biggest client, which would reduce income by over 50%. On the positive side, I'd be poorer but have more freedom with time. And maybe less child support?
