Dang it Kaffe. Always inserting the voice of reason...You're right of course. We don't need to add to that scene...
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I can give many other examples of people like that...In all my years here, I have only seen 2 or 3 people like that.
please avoid sweeping generalizations like that.
It's similar to reading a poster who says they have read/listen/seen 1000's of cases and none of them did, X,Y, or Z.
It's disheartening to anyone reading it. While I am not Pollyanna. I also know that most people go with numbers, and your numbers, which I don't happen to agree with paint it pretty bleak.
Not arguing with you, not butting heads just asking you to tone down the Doom.
Jack, I wasn't trying to be negative, just drawing on my experiences on the board, if you feel I am being too negative, I will retract my above statement.
I am considering doing one of these thread from Braveheart too, I know that he still posts here occassionaly and he had some very interesting threads. Stay tuned the above post is from one of these threads.
I can give many other examples of people like that...In all my years here, I have only seen 2 or 3 people like that.
please avoid sweeping generalizations like that.
It's similar to reading a poster who says they have read/listen/seen 1000's of cases and none of them did, X,Y, or Z.
It's disheartening to anyone reading it. While I am not Pollyanna. I also know that most people go with numbers, and your numbers, which I don't happen to agree with paint it pretty bleak.
Not arguing with you, not butting heads just asking you to tone down the Doom.
Jack3, how many times over the years have you asked this same thing of Braveheart?
Braveheart—who I think is awesome by the way—has a long history of posting ideas about reconciliation being against the odds and that MLCers won’t come through, they won’t be remorseful, they won’t change…
Braveheart, I’ve said it before and I will say it again:
“But to say that the odds are against someone is pessimistic, negative and discouraging to many. It is also not true. For those who ar fragile, it fades the light of Hope. Some may be too fragile to Withstand Standing, but for others their fragility is a naturals part of the early phases. Forget odds...for or against. If the odds were that 1% returned I would still see myself there...”
Many LBSs who choose to step down from their Stand stop posting. Many people who reach rebuilding their marriage stop posting; they are focusing on their marriage instead. This forum is not a reliable source for collecting data regarding the odds for or against reconciliation; the population is skewed.
The other thing is that maybe those odds will change. With education, maybe more people will learn about Standing and how to Stand and some who would have kicked’em to the curb quickly will not do that and will someday recover their marriage instead. That’s one of the goals of places like this. The hope is that next year there will be more reconciled marriages than this year and even more in two years and in ten a whole lot more—more than there would have been without places like this.
I am in a reconciled marriage. Now I really am living with a husband who is a Sweetheart.
Hi everyone. Maybe I missed something, but is there any place that describes how/when/why Amy came out of her crisis? Just curious as to how this stuff works.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
I believe cadet is pulling amy's posts out of his asssss...uhhhh...sets... yeah! assets...
From what I understand, some of Amy's original posts are now gone from archives. If you follow some of the links cadet posted earlier in this thread, I think you can see some explanations of how amy ended up "out" of MLC...
Hi everyone. Maybe I missed something, but is there any place that describes how/when/why Amy came out of her crisis? Just curious as to how this stuff works.
Tad
Try reading this thread from Braveheart, and post from 8/24/06 which I posted earlier in this thread. I guess DB has purged one of the threads that explains the MLC in more detail.
Originally Posted by AmyC
It was actually a series of events, one being a huge dose of reality. My husband had left for a second time, I had gotten rid of the OM and I was really alone for the first time. I just couldn't run anymore and I couldn't look at myself in the mirror either.
Also, last August 13th, I was on the scene of a motorcycle accident up the road from my house in which the man died with me sitting in the ditch beside him waiting for the ambulance. I can not effectively describe what that did to me but it had A LOT to do with me recognizing how quickly everything can be gone and what is really important.
There is no one thing that is going to pull somebody out of a MLC. It depends on the person. IMO, non-interference by the LBS will allow a person to come through it quicker.
During my MLC, I did not see ANYTHING for what it really was. I don't know how to explain the deception I was under which was largely self-imposed.
But right about this time last year I starting pulling my head out of my ass and it was not a pretty picture at all.
Amy
Also I posted this thread from Braveheart which re-asks the same question. 8/27/06
Last edited by Cadet; 11/30/1802:54 PM. Reason: remove links that have been purged
Not that an MLCer will ever admit that something is wrong with them or "not right", but is there any posting on Amy's thoughts about this? With or without OP?
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
