First Chapter

[Jman]

If you have God on your side and you put him first anything can happen. Follow the Divorce Busting Book..it works!!! and if you can get a coach too..I am using Lori..and she is GREAT!!! I did not get to the same point as you but I am making progress myself..just know that it is a very slow process and by following the info in the book and coaching it can be very helpful. It sounds like you are really wanting to save this so do it but do it right..Keep posting in the forums they really do help. Coming from a married man trying to renew his marriage It is very tough but like it says in the first chapter you have to be patient..

Take Care and God Bless

[SweetCyborg]

That first chapter was so good, and I'm sure it appleasl to me, and others like me, because I am always hopeful, resilient and optimistic.

I SO wish I could foraward to her family, her, her friends etc. BUT as I've learned in my short time on this board, GD means GD, and you shouldn't engage family friends to 'convince' or campaign for you, but wow, for the most part, very factual, and talks about the benefits of marriage even with its ups and downs.

Loved it! Will keep working on GAL and maintaining GD, but will order this book no matter WHAT happens.

[RobZ]

I am new to the site so I apologize up front for perhaps mis-stepping.

I have been served with Divorce papers along with a No Contact stipulation. I have two sons 9 and 11 and love them dearly. Over the past year I had some serious side effects from a Allergy drug, was recently diagnosed with extremely low testosterone at 41, and extremely low Vitamin D. I have letter from my doctor saying that these all contributed to my behavioral issues. These made me quick to anger,wicked mood swings, and anxiety. I know this is not an excuse so I am also seeing a therapist once a week for the past 7 weeks and identified that these medications caused me to have a severe depression, which caused me to wall off from my wife and not listen to her begging for me to get help.

Since she filed I have done serious personal reflection and determined that I have to make significant life changes. I am no longer taking that medication, I am getting testosterone injections, and Vitamin D medication. I can honestly say I feel better than I have both physically and mentally than I have in 5 years for sure. I have had several co-workers, friends, and family comment on how I am back to my old self, but my wife wants to see none of it. She told me that she is glad for me but its too late, that anyone can change for 6 weeks and we'll see in a year. She said why can't you just be mean to me I am used to that (but this nice person is my true self that has been hidden for a year). She says she will go to therapy once the divorce is final, but that seems backwards. I have friends telling me what I want to hear and others telling me the exact opposite. She has her Mom and Dad basically living with her to help with the kids and her Dad has said we can't see her is pain anymore.

So my I am not sure if this is the forum, but can this workshop really help both of us come to grips with what is happening. I am not saying being married is the best for us, I am just wanting to slow the process down and try all of our options before jumping.

[RobZ]

I am new to the site so I apologize up front for perhaps mis-stepping.

I have been served with Divorce papers along with a No Contact stipulation. I have two sons 9 and 11 and love them dearly. Over the past year I had some serious side effects from a Allergy drug, was recently diagnosed with extremely low testosterone at 41, and extremely low Vitamin D. I have letter from my doctor saying that these all contributed to my behavioral issues. These made me quick to anger,wicked mood swings, and anxiety. I know this is not an excuse so I am also seeing a therapist once a week for the past 7 weeks and identified that these medications caused me to have a severe depression, which caused me to wall off from my wife and not listen to her begging for me to get help.

Since she filed I have done serious personal reflection and determined that I have to make significant life changes. I am no longer taking that medication, I am getting testosterone injections, and Vitamin D medication. I can honestly say I feel better than I have both physically and mentally than I have in 5 years for sure. I have had several co-workers, friends, and family comment on how I am back to my old self, but my wife wants to see none of it. She told me that she is glad for me but its too late, that anyone can change for 6 weeks and we'll see in a year. She said why can't you just be mean to me I am used to that (but this nice person is my true self that has been hidden for a year). She says she will go to therapy once the divorce is final, but that seems backwards. I have friends telling me what I want to hear and others telling me the exact opposite. She has her Mom and Dad basically living with her to help with the kids and her Dad has said we can't see her is pain anymore.

So my I am not sure if this is the forum, but can this workshop really help both of us come to grips with what is happening. I am not saying being married is the best for us, I am just wanting to slow the process down and try all of our options before jumping.

[courageous wife]

Hey Rob

Sorry you are having to deal with this,,,
I know that DR and this site has certainly helped me personally. My H still wants a D but there are wonderful people here who will help YOU become that better person that you are wanting to be.

You might want to copy your above post and paste it in the newcomers section and start a thread there. You will get a lot more replies!

CW

[learning2listen]

Not sure if this is the right thread to post on but here goes..I have been married for 11 years, 2 children (one from previous marriage) My H said he wanted d two months ago and we separated. He has said this in the past but never left. He texts me that the relationship is over, and I will survive, he has made his decision and will live with it, but then says he is not mentally right, right now, says he is in a dark place. says he was miserable, unhappy and sad. We have had financial issues for the last few years which he is not used to. When we talk on the phone he says he is not ready to call it quits and doesnt want to make a rash decision. I really dont know where to start. at first i begged and he just was cruel via text message, but face to face he was more optimistic. now I dont contact him unless to do with visitation of our d. He is also Step dad to my oldest which he seems lost as to what to do there. I am so confused, i do not want a d, I didnt know this in the beigining but I know I want to work this out.

[lostfromhateSD]

Just 7 days ago my husband had taken me out to dinner. When we got home, I was outside in the truck looking for a paper. He came out, asked what I was doing, I told him, then with his hands in his pocket, said "I think its times for you to move out". I was devistated. Here we were on the front lawn, just back from a dinner I thought was going well, and he asked me to move out. I cried, i cried hard, i asked why, he said he thinks this is for the best, the best for me, and the best for the kids. I just didn't know what to do. I packed my bags and went to a friends. Later I returned. I said that I loved him and the family, and I think we can make this work. My plan was to go straight to bed. The next thing he said tore me up and I just started in, started crying, asking questions and so forth. He said that it was fine and dandy, but he wanted me out of the house in a few weeks, by Labor day. Because I would not go, he left, spent the night at a friends house. The next day i found out he was at a mutual friends house and he has been there all week. We tried to talk. Used I statements and so forth. But the most heart wrenching statement he made was " I am tired of not liking you". I just don't know what went wrong. The only thing I could think of was my being layed off 4 years ago and losing a great job with great benefits, and now I have a job that pays more but no benefits. I just don't know. He said he exhausted options and hope. Please help! I send him Good morning messages and Goodnight messages every day. I also send him jokes, and recent news. The kids live with me, and they don't seem affected.
Should I just hang back and let it run its course or what?

[Cadet]

LFHSD

Welcome to the board.

DO NOT MOVE OUT.

Stop begging, pleading, crying.
In newcomers there is a list of 37 rules, read them and start working on them.

I suggest you repost this in newcomers where you will get more responses.

Right now just breathe, eat, sleep, excercise and take care of yourself and your kids.

Get the DR book and read it.

You are going to be all right.

Keep posting.

[Soul.Searching]

Hi,
I just read the first part if DR and am wondering if it can be purchased as a digital download anywhere? If not can it be brought off any site other than amazon? Every time I have tried to buy anything off there, it tells me they can not post to my postcode.

[angel61]

I bought it hard copy in Barnes and Noble.