I have been doing this LTR but no contact is almost impossible do to my thinks still in the house and other things I have to do there. It had been weeks and she had made a few contacts on her own but seems to be just more action in leaving. I don't engage anything till she does, I know she is seeing people but is also having trouble there. I did try to do something that I know she wants taking the kids to church it did work she said yes. We couldn't go because of work but called me back to say she couldn't go and was being more talkative then before and asked if I was still on a dating service? I kept cool and she seemed to want to say more but I said I had to go. So I don't know if this is a backslide but maybe not, she text me over the next weekend at 1:00 in the morning to tell me she had won 4th place in a poker tournament and said hope your well.. I don’t know why she would do this. I think she may have went with a date but not sure, why see would be so eager to tell me this when she got home. I resounded with just basic good feelings. The next day I had to contact her about stopping at the house and she was not quick to respond and didn’t answer her phone just text but was really ok with it. I was in NC but her asking personal questions about what I’m up to about dating has me wondering. I know she really wanted to go to church but I don’t know if I should try that again. Or go back to NC
Me 40 waw 39 Never formally M Common law SD 16 SS 13 Together 9 yrs bomb 10/2/08 She started dating 11/08 Started P/A 01/09 Contiunes to call R over
I have been dim (text message once per day to check on D(1) ) for about a week. W's text message replies are becoming more wordy, she added a smiley face onto the one today, and she initiated a text message this morning to ask me to pay for half a co-pay for D(1)'s bill. I didn't reply - but am going to write her a check.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I've had a mutual friend of ours tell both me and my W to essentially go dark. If she is holding back also, what does this do to the going dark technique? Will it still be effective?
Not sure if you are still on this forum-I am curious that you wrote the WAS comes to the LBS after the split/separation/D, that their their ego "takes over".
Think it has just started to happen with my H. He seems shaky though. May be thinking of comming home, but affraid of what a mess he has made. My current thread is in "Affairs and Jealousy."
I'm lost on doing LRT while she's still living in the house with me. She already feels like I don't want her in the house and she's working on moving out...but she wants the "old me" back.
So if she wants the "old me" which requires doing 180's from my current behavior and includes doing nice things for her, how do I do LRT? I get not saying ILY and not buying flowers, but does it just mean I act like I don't care if she leaves? Just keep being nice and helpful around the house and upbeat around her?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
