I have a unconcious belief that if I stay positive/friendly regardless her attitude and fix it then we will be friendly again and things will get better. (yeah, not what happens is it)
I can relate to this. I realized that me staying didn't deliver the message that I want to and actually, did quite the opposite.
Next up- hickies! "What's that on your neck?" "Oh, darned curling iron I guess."
Soooo tired of that happening all the time! Totally going perm from now on!
When I think about it, scratches on my back have been brought up on several occasions over the years.
Call me crazy, but I think she uses it as a test. Lol. "You know.....he can't see his own back, lets see how he reacts if I tell him he has scratches"
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
Yesterday she dropped by to pick up a couple small things. Had a nice chat for half an hour. Good mood, nice tone, but she seemed to distance everytime we got to friendly/jokingly. Nice change of pace, her being calm and friendly.
Today, she calls me at work, telling me she wants to drop by again so I can sign some documents, but doesn't want to tell me what. (huh?). After I ask her again she tells me it's more papers relating to our separation Now, she suddenly switches back to moody/irritated and gives me a bit of an attitude.
So I guess I counter DB'ed
I decided I'm done with taking that chit. When she came I let her in and she commented that I seemed to be angry/upset.
(I was a bit short and not to big on smiles, but not angry)
I kept it short and down to business. After the docs was signed she probably understood I was not interested in chit chatting and got ready to leave. I told her S had been doing fine and was a gem like always, smiled and said goodbye.
Not DB, I know. But right now I had to "make a point" for me.
-She told me S had been sick, but she didn't tell me b/c she didn't want me to worry. (Well it worries me a lot more that she doesn't tell me things like that).
-She has her mood swings.
-While I may (hopefully) have changed, she doesn't seem to have changed much at all.
Hope seems scarce, and while I haven't dropped the rope yet, today I just needed her to stay away. I need to respect myself. That being said, I should have explained to her how I needed space and didn't want to chit chat instead of acting the way I did. Cold/distant without any explanation. I did what felt right, but in a wrong way.
Any thoughts??
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
No real update to give sitch-wise. I've been GALing and having a great time. Still have the sitch in the back AND front of my head though.
Guess the actions in my previous post had some effect, there has been absolutely no contact since.
But hey, at least I get time and space for ME. So does she.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
She called me yesterday at work. It went to voice mail. I called her back in the evening when I got home. No answer.
I sent a message afterwards telling her she could txt me b/c I didn't have the phone on me and that I would see it later.
Again, no answer.
At this point though, I don't even know what I want myself.
Yes ; She was my first love. We have a beautiful son together. We had great plans.
But do I need this in my life? Do I want to be treated badly? No, and she doesn't seem to be changing on that aspect.
I wish things would work out, but maybe they just cant...
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
