So here's my story Part 3

[tori2012]

Andrew, her contacting you in the AM is actually great. She wouldn't have done that if she had seen the OM.

Yes, get out if you can, but even spending time at your friends' houses is good. I wish I had friends like that!

What job opportunity are you talking about? Is it for you?

Have a fun day :-)

[afa75]

The job opportunity is for me. We will see if I can even apply / can meet the certification standards.

I really didn't think about the GM, if she had seen OM. Thanks for putting it that way. She's back from the trip, and shared the boring details of the conference and how she bonded with her coworkers over drinks. So yeah, she initiated the light hearted convo, while laying next to me in bed. At one point she reached over and cuddled for a few until the kids came near the room. Don't want to upset D11. W did ask again if I was going out tonight. Not sure what that's about, but I think I need to go out for me simply to continue to GAL and not sit around waiting for her.

[Tumbling]

Hi Afa - been away, back now.
I see you are treading lightly.
It's inching in the right direction

[tori2012]

Andrew, go out tonight. I see all positives here, so this is great!

Oh, and good luck with the job! Would it be a welcome change for you?

[tori2012]

Andrew, how are you? Been thinking about you. Hope the silence means good news.

[afa75]

Hey Tori, Thanks for asking.
Overall the silence has been due to good news and being busy.
To update you all.
Saturday I went to my friends house, had a few drinks and watched college football. The funny thing about this is that I've been there about once a month. The first time, I was an absolute mess. The second time, still insecure, but better. This recent time, I was good. I was fine with where I was.

So on my drive back home Sunday morning, my phone goes off because of a FB notification. Friend request --> W!
I took my time in accepting. She asked me if I was going to accept when I was arrived home. She choose me. She literally said that. She defriended OM and his family. She also started to follow me on Pinterest. She clicked "follow" her so I could see what she was doing and what not. The past few days have been good. We have been polite. She has choosen to sleep in my / our bedroom again. She has initiated little and more than kisses. It has been wierd. A good weird. I have tried to remain somewhat detached / lean back. Follow her lead and what not. The other night, she accidentally texted me that OM sent her an email telling her to listen to some "try again" song; and then followed with another text about "how's done with that, and happy with where she is (w/ me)" The text was intended for her BFF. I did not make any comments, including when she let me know that it was an accident, "but at least you know where I am" with regards to the whole sich.
All in all, things have been progressing in the right direction.

The slight bad news, is last night, W, BFF, and SIL came over, hung out and we all had some wine. W and eventually went to bed. We woke up middle of the night, fooling around, and one thing did lead to another. Bad news it obviously was something way too fast; and it was unprotected. I know this. I am ashamed of myself. I am generally more responsible, but am beating myself up over this. I feel bad. I think she does too. It was obviously a mutual and consentual thing, but I think we each are fearful of going to fast and jumping back into the old routine.

Thoughts?

[afa75]

...and needless to say I have the empty pit feeling in my stomach.

[Denver_2010]

Hey Tori, Thanks for asking.
Overall the silence has been due to good news and being busy.
To update you all.
Saturday I went to my friends house, had a few drinks and watched college football. The funny thing about this is that I've been there about once a month. The first time, I was an absolute mess. The second time, still insecure, but better. This recent time, I was good. I was fine with where I was.

So on my drive back home Sunday morning, my phone goes off because of a FB notification. Friend request --> W!
I took my time in accepting. She asked me if I was going to accept when I was arrived home. She choose me. She literally said that. She defriended OM and his family. She also started to follow me on Pinterest. She clicked "follow" her so I could see what she was doing and what not. The past few days have been good. We have been polite. She has choosen to sleep in my / our bedroom again. She has initiated little and more than kisses. It has been wierd. A good weird. I have tried to remain somewhat detached / lean back. Follow her lead and what not. The other night, she accidentally texted me that OM sent her an email telling her to listen to some "try again" song; and then followed with another text about "how's done with that, and happy with where she is (w/ me)" The text was intended for her BFF. I did not make any comments, including when she let me know that it was an accident, "but at least you know where I am" with regards to the whole sich.
All in all, things have been progressing in the right direction.

The slight bad news, is last night, W, BFF, and SIL came over, hung out and we all had some wine. W and eventually went to bed. We woke up middle of the night, fooling around, and one thing did lead to another. Bad news it obviously was something way too fast; and it was unprotected. I know this. I am ashamed of myself. I am generally more responsible, but am beating myself up over this. I feel bad. I think she does too. It was obviously a mutual and consentual thing, but I think we each are fearful of going to fast and jumping back into the old routine.

Thoughts?

I think that it is a big step! Very good. I would not play it up too much either way. I would continue doing what you are doing and behaving the way that you are behaving. Continue to be confident with yourself and the path that you are traveling.

You did not indicate whether or not she brought it up the next morning and/or what her take on it is. Is she upset? Happy?

If you have a conversation about it, or if you feel the need to bring it up with her, I would basically communicate that "It was nice being close to you again." But not make a big deal out of it either way.

Oh... and I'm not sure that I believe that that text was not meant for you. My guess is that she doesn't want to feel like she is giving you control, but she also wants you to know where she stands with OM... so she 'accidentally' sent that to you. I could be wrong, but that is an awfully big text to accidentally send to you.

[afa75]

Thanks Denver. Ever since the reFriending I've been doing my best at keeping my excitement to myself and displaying the confident me. Not too much, not too little; and trying to follow her lead / match her.

She hasn't directly said anything about last night, other than our mutually agreed upon mixed emotions.

As far as the "accidental" texts, I never thought about it the way you framed it. Fortunately I remained detached about the whole scenario. Letting her lead, if she wants too.

So as soon as I come home, w is friendly and physically affectionate. Plans for tonight include a movie and maybe wine. Her ideas.
We'll see how the rest of the evening goes.

In case I don't make it back tonight, thank you everyone and I hope everyone is doing okay; and that you all can have a Happy Thanksgiving.

[tori2012]

Andrew, it's good to see you were away for a while bc things were actually good! I don't see anything wrong with what happened last night, unless there's risk of a pregnancy, which you definitely not need right now. Intimacy is good. Remember, at this point, you're not doing LRT but all the other steps (doing 180's, creating goals, etc.) And of course, you both need to heal from the affair.

I also suspect she intended the texts to go to you. But I guess it doesn't matter. Things are looking good.

I think it's okay to appear enthusiastic about her changed behavior, but not overly crazy about it. I sense you know what you're doing.

Have a fun evening, and Happy Thanksgiving.