It does help. She is seemingly being honest; and probably is attention seeking. I have already told her The good / weird news is that OM has already moved onto some other girl. It sounds like he has had and does keep several at a time. it would have to be, at some point NC, if / when she is to commit 100% to the R. Right now she is wanting baby steps and friendship. I can kind of handle that. . Oh and in re: to an IC, seems as if the one picked out may be flaky and W is terrified to face her actions. Going to work out. Check back with yas later.
The bit I mentioned is in the Infidelity section on page 194, Let The Healing Begin. It's not much but I thought it touched on some of the ways you might be feeling at times.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Thanks Arsene. I was flipping through it earlier today looking again. Now I'm sure I can find it. Side note, I've been reading up on your sich, just no comments lately. Thanks friend!
Journaling.... So based on my recent posts above, W has been coming closer, emotionally and physically. I've been too eager and too hesitant to believe it's true. Tomorrow she has an overnight work trip. Located 1/2 way between home and OM's place. I'm fearful they'll meet at her hotel. Not much I can do but pray she has been truthful with me lately and that it's done in that sense with him and that I'm being a bit insecure. At least honest here though. Trying to make plans with friends to go out Saturday, something at least. Cool thing is I've reconnected with friends from Philly who now live in the Carribean. They invited me to come visit. Now to find funds to fly down.
Also, think I may have to finish my current Mitch Albom book and then reread DR again.
Andrew, I understand how you feel about her overnight trip. Trust will take a while to rebuild...but progress will happen a lot faster once she's recommitted to the M.
Great that you're making plans, and maybe you can travel to the Caribean! What country? The funds will come...
Thanks Arsene. I was flipping through it earlier today looking again. Now I'm sure I can find it. Side note, I've been reading up on your sich, just no comments lately. Thanks friend!
Journaling.... So based on my recent posts above, W has been coming closer, emotionally and physically. I've been too eager and too hesitant to believe it's true. Tomorrow she has an overnight work trip. Located 1/2 way between home and OM's place. I'm fearful they'll meet at her hotel. Not much I can do but pray she has been truthful with me lately and that it's done in that sense with him and that I'm being a bit insecure. At least honest here though. Trying to make plans with friends to go out Saturday, something at least. Cool thing is I've reconnected with friends from Philly who now live in the Carribean. They invited me to come visit. Now to find funds to fly down.
Also, think I may have to finish my current Mitch Albom book and then reread DR again.
Yeah afa... tough. I know the feeling. In my experience, I learned that you kind of just have to let whatever is going to happen, happen. If your W sees OM on this trip, I believe that you will know. I always found that my instincts were pretty good. Something about my W's behavior would change if she had contact with OM. Hard to explain. Bottom line though is that you cannot control what she is going to do. So what you have to do is behave normally and appropriately. In other words, don't let her see you sweat this. If touching base once that evening is normal for you guys, then do that. But don't call her over and over, and ask her a million questions. See will see the insecurity all over that type of behavior. And that wouldn't be good.
Something else that i wanted to address... do I have this right that your W wants to remain friends with OM?
I see that as very problematic if so.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Tori, yes trust does take time; and I believe it will be a tad easier when / if she fully commits to the R with me. Earlier today she called and chatted me about all the "girls" that were going to be there tonight. All of coworkers are females. Many that know and like me if that matters at all. Also, she was asking if I was king out tomorrow, etc. St. Croix is the island. Fund wise just need it for airfare and food / drinks.
Denver, my want was to ask about tonight. I did realize it would do me no good; and as you said whatever happens will happen. She left a few hours ago. I was cool, calm, and collect when she left. Wished her a good time and to be careful. As far as remaining friend with OM, she knows my opinion on that. A big fat no way in hell. . I think she gets it. So we will see.
I'm okay so far today. Main thing I'm struggling with is plans. I suck at it / normally wait to the last second. I'm trying though. I can always hang out with friends at their house which is good, but obviously I'd like to actually do something more than. But what?, no clue. Still working on developing that. Part of me wants to just chill at home. But I know going out is best for me. St. Croix would / will be awesome.
So last year, W and I would have texted / spoken while she was away. This year obviously, I did not initiate any contact. Surprisingly though, she did for a little bit, and sent me a good morning text or two. So I'm just reminding myself that she may be texting a million others, but at least she has included me (another small step of progress). Nothing huge, but a little something.
So that's how I am so far. Getting ready to take the kids out. S7 has a bday party to go to (yes, lately it's been bday crazy around here), so the other 2 and I are going to run some errands, then I'm not sure after that.
OJ, and I have initiated some contact about a job opportunity, decent response so far.
Yes baby steps all the way. Thats what we are meant to look for. So good that your W included you in her GM's this a.m.
Keep going forward.
Hope you are well and have a good weekend.
Busting
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
.