My ex h and I divorced during his MLC. We have been together or in contact when he has ran the entire 13 years. Two years ago, he ran again and I moved home. For the last two years he has stayed in contact, telling me he was sorry, telling me if he could have his way he would want us back, telling me that I taught him about love and he will never love another woman like me. He texted me on Mothers Day and when I responded he said it hurt him to much to talk to me and he was in a new relationship but didnt know where it was going. I have now initated NC. Why would he give me hope only to crush it?
In his mind it's not giving you hope. He's just checking up to be sure you're still there like a lifeboat. As long as you're there he has nothing to worry about. Are you seeing anyone?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
No, my stich is so long but we moved together to another state for my career. My Mom died unexpectedly and he ran. He still lives there but I came home to be with family. While I was there, I had a quick re- bound friendship but no love on my side and we remain friends. He has ran 4 times and I am the longest relationship he has ever had. For thirteen years, we were together or remained in contact. I have went dark! Thanks for your response! I value your opinion from a mans point of view.
In his mind it's not giving you hope. He's just checking up to be sure you're still there like a lifeboat. As long as you're there he has nothing to worry about. Are you seeing anyone?
The point is, he contacted you to yank your chain. TO make sure you are still there waiting and waiting and NOT moving on.
His new R had a wrinkle so he checked in on you but not even long enough to finish a phone call. This is him treating you badly, like a doormat.
Do NOT take the bait.
Please....at least act as if you are moving on ("fake it til you make it") or he'll know he does not have to come home
until if and when ALL the OWs in the world have been explored and excluded...whic may never happen and IF it does happen, will not last. That is his pattern.
Please don't let him keep you as his back up plan b/c to me it's glaringly obvious that is what he's doing. Do you see that?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Because he runs from all relationships, how long will it take him to see the grass is not greener?
Who says he ever will? The man has a nasty pattern you seem to believe you will break but there is evidence to the contrary. All we know is he has run from your r as well. So if he has not seen that the grass is not greener yet, after all the broken agreements he has made and all the damage, why would he ever see it?
He can keep doing it til his energy or money or health runs out, and whoever has him then, is stuck...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
You are absolutely right! Thats why it is so helpful to be here because it helps me see reality. I am so much more then he has ever been ( career wise) Hes a driver, I have a MA. Why do woman always feel like care- takers? Thanks for your responses.
You are absolutely right! Thats why it is so helpful to be here because it helps me see reality. I am so much more then he has ever been ( career wise) Hes a driver, I have a MA. Why do woman always feel like care- takers? Thanks for your responses.
Not all women feel that way but some who do, believe if they are "needed" enough then they won't be abandoned. So they choose men who need a LOT of help...usually not winners.
Maybe the book "Women who Love Too Much" will help you see how unhealthy this R sounds...for YOU and HIM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I pray that since I went NC, he might begin to look within. We have been off and on for 13 years, and I know I enabled him to come and go. I do take responsibilty in this relationship and am willing to work on me! Who knows if he will?
