I hope you don't think I'm bashing you or trying to push you too hard to move on. I relate to things you are saying with not wanting to let go and that little voice telling me "not yet". I spun for a long time and hated the feeling. I felt stuck and I got really frustrated during this time.
We all do this on our own timeline and you'll know when you're ready to start moving. Do what you feel is in your best interest.
I think taking a little break and regrouping is a perfect plan. I like your core convictions + clear goals = plan of action.
What are some of your short term goals?
Another 'plan' saying that I like that sayitaintso has used with me is: Make a plan and make it happen. I actually have that hanging in my office now.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
I hope you don't think I'm bashing you or trying to push you too hard to move on.
Not in the least. I very much appreciate your - and everyone's - thoughts, input, and perspective. Genuinely.
Originally Posted By: Spartan
What are some of your short term goals?
Some of these are more tangible than others, but here are some of my goals that come to mind:
Move to a larger place for me and the girls.
Finish up my MBA (Dec).
GAL (hopefully facilitated by the above bullet point).
Get promoted.
Get a larger vehicle.
Go on one "excursion" a month with the girls (camping, canoeing, amusement park, etc.).
Continue my one date a week with my D's (one-on-one date that rotates between the 4 of them).
Make D's feel as special and loved as is humanly possible.
Be an example for my girls, and for who they should look for in a mate after they grow up.
Volunteer.
Practice patience daily.
Go to church every week.
Consistently meet my nutritional and exercise goals. (No self sabotaging!)
Start playing basketball again (herniated disc dependent).
Connect with old friends (been trying) or make new ones (not easy/enjoyable for me).
Pray more.
Trust God more.
Help others.
Forgive XW truly and completely.
Be the best version of me.
That's just what started popping into my head.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I honestly think that you will have many doors open for you that you can't see right now.
You inspire me PM, honestly!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I hope you don't think I'm bashing you or trying to push you too hard to move on.
Not in the least. I very much appreciate your - and everyone's - thoughts, input, and perspective. Genuinely.
Originally Posted By: Spartan
What are some of your short term goals?
Some of these are more tangible than others, but here are some of my goals that come to mind:
Move to a larger place for me and the girls.
Finish up my MBA (Dec).
GAL (hopefully facilitated by the above bullet point).
Get promoted.
Get a larger vehicle.
Go on one "excursion" a month with the girls (camping, canoeing, amusement park, etc.).
Continue my one date a week with my D's (one-on-one date that rotates between the 4 of them).
Make D's feel as special and loved as is humanly possible.
Be an example for my girls, and for who they should look for in a mate after they grow up.
Volunteer.
Practice patience daily.
Go to church every week.
Consistently meet my nutritional and exercise goals. (No self sabotaging!)
Start playing basketball again (herniated disc dependent).
Connect with old friends (been trying) or make new ones (not easy/enjoyable for me).
Pray more.
Trust God more.
Help others.
Forgive XW truly and completely.
Be the best version of me.
That's just what started popping into my head.
-PM
Your list might be a good start to a new thread!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
But, I think in order to move forward it is helpful to take the focus off of your feelings for your W altogether. It doesn't mean those feeling don't exist, it is that they need to leave the forefront of your mind so you can focus on yourself.
This just *clicked*. Thanks!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
