Hi Dawn! That sounds wonderful. Keep enforcing your boundaries. He has to win you back. You may see that you still love him and it was hidden, or you may find that it is too much to come back from but you need to give it time. You've waited this long.
Congrats also on being a grandma. That is so awesome. You can spoil them and give them back. I'm not there yet but I do look forward to it when the time is right. Enjoy that little guy! They grow up so fast.
M 48 H 50 M 25 T 27 D 20,18,15 6/11 H filed 3/12 H dropped 4/12 H moved out
Baby with no name is doing well and my S is learning alot. He goes home with GF tomorrow and S will stay a while I'm sure.
H has had some good parts of himself showing, he asked me to join him for a dvd, last night and he woke up early to clean house before work.
It was a good glimpse for the last 2 days, and now it's over, I think.
He should have been home by now, but who knows until we know for sure.
I am still ok with him leaving 9/1 and I think we will be better for it. I don't want his negativity around us, or him living on my couch.
I'm still sure of what I want and even when he's been nice the last two days, he doesn't have enough character for me. I also felt last night how the closeness and innocence of it all is soo gone.
Everyday I am trying to better myself and move forward, but I am still searching for my own path.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
glad about baby and congrats. glad and sad to hear you know you're still "done" -
funny how easy it is for me to look at you and your sitch and your resolve and think it's good - and then not have courage myself to just jump in (or out) as the case may be.
i wanted to say that I believe it will be very good to see how your h reacts and acts when he's truly "lost" you - even if it's temporary- and how that will make him feel.
i can't give my h that credit- i'm not sure anymore what is in side him. isn't it amazing it's sooooooo easy to theororize about someone elses life - and soooo hard to see the forest for the trees...
oh well- me- like hansel and gretel and the darn crumb trail- i'm lost in the woods-
we'll see if the old witch eats me or the woodsman saves me-
toss up-
(hey- appropriate huh? my mom (witch) or my h (woodsman)
this could be very freudian here-
xxoo love ya man and hang in tehre- you're sounding very very good these days. im so glad.
Week one H quit his job… in that week we had a grandson, H was available and present, we prayed, had family dinner at a restaurant, movie time, he slept at home every night, and we had conversation.
H had blocked EA…it was a good week.
Fri. night, H is MIA after a gig, I locked the screen door when at midnight I hear it being pulled. I say who is that, H replies it’s me, I said why are you here, what do you want!
He said he went to the N side for closure. He cleaned out his stuff from the night job, picked up a check, and saw EA at the bar to tell her to stop using others phone to call him, that they were no longer friends.
That he now see’s that she uses him for his money, car, and food. That she is a terrible alkie who is way too much trouble. And, to stop texting me pretending he’s w her partying because he has been home w me all week.
He says if it’s too little to late I understand, and I will go. I told him to keep talking before I decide anything while I had the door closed behind me standing on the porch w him.
He said he now see’s what he was doing, tho he saw he didn’t see before?! He said he is trying to come home, tho he’s not sure what to do or how he will be content.
He is still struggling w his failures and lack of enthusiasm for life.
He says he likes me, and see’s he may loose me, but believes he would deserve it. Then he asks if I could be patient.
Needless to say I let him in, and told him this is not me the fool, this is me still standing my ground and I am not easily impressed. He said I know you have no reason to believe me.
If I still want him out by 9/1 he will go, and not make threats about the $$$, but he is trying for the future.
A friend of EA’s called this morning and H said in front of me, I have let her go, I’m done with her and I am done w you too, they hung up on him.
He disclosed who it was to me.
Ok, so that’s his plan! What’s mine? Anyone got a crystal ball? I guess for now I am patient! Wait, watch, and keep moving forward!
I said no more sleeping on my couch, it's embracing, dirty, and uninviting for anyone else to enjoy.
I said my house will be a home again, this baby will come to a pleasant loving surrounding.
Stay detached, but yet not to unattached, yea Nero your right about that one, huh
We talked a little before both falling over from extreme exhaustion.
What kind of person do I want to spend the rest of my life w, could H ever measure up? Besides his "in" does/will he have something to offer me?
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
Dawn, You are doing very well. You've set your boundaries and you've told your h what you expect in the way of your home and surroundings. Now, it will be up to him whether he does the work and proves to you that he wants to be a better husband and father. He now needs to win you back. Right now, he's making the right moves, but let's see how long they last. I am praying that he continues to move forward and doesn't look back. I'm praying that the EA accepts that it is over and doesn't try to contact him or you again. But most importantly, I praying that you and your h will be able to work things out and enjoy the life you are suppose to have w/your family and the new little one.
I love the name of the grandbaby. It's different, but the mean of name is very special. Who knows...one baby just might grow up to be a healer.
Enjoy your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
i'm just blasting thru- should be packing junk up. g onna have those two kids mon,tue & wed- nary a spare moment i think for this - so it's got to ben ow.
yet here i am stalling- OH GOD - YOU'D THINK i'd give up the procrastination thing.
xxoo will be back soemtime or later.
you sounmd good- so unds like you did good so far with h and new turn of events.
best of luck- you deservei t- my fingers are crossed - cautiously optimistic (highlight eh cautious)
but hey- it's what we're "standing"f or- isn't it???
Dawn, I guess it is really true that the lbs gets the last decision about whether they want the spouse back.
You still have about three weeks to see how things are going and if your h needs to move out. Right now it seems like he's talking and starting to figure out what he's done wrong.
You sound cautious, as you should be, but you wouldn't have come on this site if you hadn't wanted another chance with him, so just try to enjoy each day and see what happens.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Dawn, I'm reading your sitch and I think that you've been doing this a very long time. I think if you set boundaries and have no expectations, then you are in a good spot. If he comes to you, and meets your needs then great. If not, then you can move on. I think in many cases we must be willing to risk separating and divorce in order to save the marriage. If you know what you want, stated it as your boundaries, then I think you're in a good position regardless of what he decides. Good luck.
ikeep coming here- having something to say and then can't quite put my finger on it- i guess you're just inmy thoughts a hell of alot and i keep wanting to just check in and say - hey.
wierd and wierder. anyway- for what it' s worth- i'm with ya on th wh ole wait qietly and hope for wisdom ( or somet hing)
since neither of us have mr wonderful in the wings whispering in our ear to dump old sour puss and come away with them-
we can do it- idk - i'm wacky & unfocused- but thinking aobu tyou and your'r doing quite great for such a up and down sitch.
hang on- love to you and baby& everyone. such a joysou occasion.
