BA: sometimes feelings develop over time - not everything is instant chemistry. I'd give her a bit longer before deciding she's not the one.
There seem to be mixed feelings here on how soon to. Say NEXT. When I got back into dating - I decided to stick with each one until I knew for sure that I'd reached a deal breaker. Even if I really didn't feel anything much at first. It usually became clear in a couple of dates but even Josh & I hit a couple of roadblocks on the early months. I had to step back & really analyze our R. I realized that sharing mutual values & goals was more important than if he didn't phone when he said he would (although I did set him straight on that one too). I guess I'm just saying that even if someone doesn't move at the pace you would like them to - that you still consider them for a bit longer - not everyone "falls" at the same time. So it's good to try longer rather than consider it a waste of time & energy.
Thanks Barb. I am trying to be patient and just let things take it's course to see what may evolve. That is true with anyone I go out with unless there are absolute definite red flags or dealbreakers that surface. I have been fortunate enough to have that instant chemistry with 2 people in the last year so I know it does exist it just doesn't happen very often. If the feelings develop over time then that would be great as well.
I think it is good that I am going away this weekend to Ann Arbor and just spending time with my girls. Gives me a chance to just step back and have some quality time with them for a couple of days.
Have a great time this weekend in Michigan with your daughters. Sounds like a great trip!
Thanks GG, I will! Hitting the road in about 4 hours and can't wait to spend the weekend with my daughters - they are so excited to be going to the game on Saturday. This will be their first time inside Michigan stadium!
Hope things dry out over there in Colorado for you and Betsey and that you get a good round of golf in!
Patience isn't one of my virtues, unless it's in the classroom with my kiddos. I'm learning as well. I mean, it took Katie Couric 16 years! Let's hope it's sooner for us...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I haven't been to the dentist in awhile either (because my dental insurance [censored] and the only dentist that takes it is about an hour or so away) so my dr actually checks the health of my teeth when I go to see her...(she knows about my crappy insurance)
and I haven't had a cavity since I was in high school and my breath isn't bad And my teeth are pretty white (thanks to some awesome toothpaste) and I brush at least 2 times a day...
so I am just wondering if he came out and said he hasn't seen a dentist and that was the deal breaker
or if he has really bad teeth and that was the deal breaker
His teeth are okay. He said the same thing...hasn't had a cavity since high school. I asked my dentist about this since I've run into other guys with bad teeth. He seemed concerned about all kinds of things (gum disease, plaque buildup, oral cancer). Car guy has no health insurance so he doesn't go the doctor either. Just different values. For instance, I don't think I'd be tearing it up on a dirt bike without health insurance, but that's his choice.
He actually came out and told me he hadn't seen a dentist in four years. That wasn't the deal breaker. The deal breaker is that he has no goals, no retirement, no savings, etc. Yet, he has an iPhone, iPad, new computer, just bought a new mountain bike (already had one) and I'm about as frugal as you can get. We couldn't be more different in that aspect. I can learn to spend some of my saved money (and I have), but how does he ever retire and play the great golf courses around the country/world with me?
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Betsey, I don't know what to say about Sweet Stuff. Wish I had the magic to understand these people myself. Why would you go to dinner with him? What would be the purpose? After six weeks do you want to potentially open things up (even a little bit)?
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
He has a daughter from a very brief encounter 25 years ago. He did pay child support, but she contacted him three years ago wanting to meet him and he still has responded back. GRRR... I work with little kiddos all day who have absentee parents. Another deal breaker for me.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
