I agree with Bond. To be clear, I didn't say don't state your position to your W, I said only that you shouldn't do it with anger. Being strong and assertive is attractive.
No need to give her any answers on D stuff. She can wait until you get back for that. Showing anger and asserting the "No more BS" stance is always timely.
I think those who counsel against showing anger aren't necessarily picking up on the nuances here. It is about showing your true self, honestly, respectfully, and with palpable feeling. Translation: passionately, with confidence and strength.
If she wants to discuss D stuff, my inclination would just be to say, "We can talk about it when I return."
Just because she's suddenly in a hot rush doesn't mean you should be hasty. It makes sense to take some time to think. And breathe.
She's been screwing with you for 10 years. She doesn't need any immediate answers. I think it's more important to take the time to think about what you want, on your timeline. Wait long enough until you are certain that you are not just reacting to W's urgency and the fear of angering her.
Don't do (say) anything that you can't do from a place of strength and conviction.
If W says, "I want...", think, "So what? Here's what I want..." Demonstrate that you won't be jumping through the hoops she puts in front of you. Don't explain. Demonstrate.
