The problem is that W has a D filed, and that clock is ticking. I have the dissolution in hand, but if I don't sign it, W just keeps pushing the D itself.
By the way, in our instance, a D has grounds that must be proven, but a dissolution is basically an agreed D.
I do know for a fact that W filed the D to try to push me/scare me - her grounds are a joke, and she asked for like 65% of my net income. Two attorneys assured me she wouldn't get anything. Also, the two grounds she filed on, I have a ton of evidence against the one, and the other one she had a friend that she said would testify (lie) for her, and that friend has disconnected with W because she found out the truth about our situation.
So I'm honestly curious what she'll do now that she actually has to move forward with it.
If her dissolution is unreasonable, then just say to her that you have decided to go ahead and agree to a dissolution but she needs to have her L draw one up that is reasonable. Stand in the way of that particular agreement but not in the way of the idea. Maybe others have thoughts....
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
My L doesn't need to do anything until Friday so I'm just going to wait and see how W responds, IF she responds to the continuance request and stuff. Whew, it's a sign that at least my work is starting to pay off. I wanted to text or email and clarify, but I just stopped myself. Wrote a long email up, then deleted it.
I just remembered also: she said if we got divorced that she could apply for welfare; I wonder if that's the urgency. I know she is broke as a joke right now, and all her credit cards are maxed out.
I am confused. She filed for Divorce but wants you to sign a dissolution?
But since you won't sign the dissolution, she's threatening to press the divorce and ask for everything except the kitchen sink?
I know this is a divorce busting site, but I almost feel like you should just sign the dissolution to protect YOU. There will be no winners if this turns into a divorce, and if she's offering a dissolution instead, I'd take that.
I'm not there and don't know either one of you, but let's face it, she's all over the board and has mainly shown signs of pulling away. Granted she's actually probably more confused than anything but if she's offering a "get out of jail free" card, its something to consider.
It may be a bluff, it may not. But if you sign and she files it and your marriage is dissolved, it's not the end of the world. Your relationship will continue as-is for a while... you will both more than likely be involved in each others life for some time to come. Who's to say you can't get back together in the future?
This whole thing doesn't make sense, are you sure she hasn't won the lottery or something and she doesn't want to share it with you? I am stunned someone would offer you an easy way out.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
She won't get anything from a divorce either, and she knows it. I've had two attorneys tell me that, especially with her actions.
Quite honestly, it's VERY tempting to just sign the dissolution. The only reason I can think of for her wanting to move it so quickly, again, is because she is broke and can get gov't support.
Regardless, I can't really think straight about it, but I know I have prayed about it quite a bit, and each time I'm ready to quit, God has said, "Wait", whatever that means. So, I'm waiting...
One of W's depression habits was to sit in bed all day and watch shows over and over on Netflix. Well, her account was signed in on my one laptop that the kids use, and the usage showed the same pattern over and over, even today. Watching a specific show that I would bet she's watched 30 times, all 7 seasons.
It was sort of surprising to me. I thought she'd be out doing fun stuff, enjoying her new free life, living it up; not still sitting in the new house all day watching old shows. Kinda makes me feel sad for her. Here she has a new house, new life, everything - and she just follows the same patterns.
Maybe this is sort of weirdly snooping I guess, so I won't look again, just interesting.
Well the going dark and standing ground works again!
I was completely dark from Friday through Monday, only responded this morning to W initiating conversation where I said I wouldn't sign dissolution, then I ended it. I thought she was furious and throwing a fit, and quite honestly doubted myself quite a bit, even though I knew it was the right thing...
But then she sent me a YouTube video about mending broken hearts, and asked me if I remembered what I'd said to her about it when she sent it to me several weeks ago. (I had said something about not believing her). I told her I wished I had handled differently.
W got pictures taken of the kids, and continued by saying, "I'm feeling nice so here's some pics of the kids". She then sent me one that was super hot of her, and was like, "oops didn't mean to send that". Yeah right! .
I told her they looked nice, and complimented her, and she said they were just samples and she'd have a lot more.
Then I told her I was really tired, and going to sleep. So good night, DBers!
Well handled, just be prepared, there could be another 3-5 day NC period by her choice. Today feels like a roller coaster high, but know that a low usually follows, no expectations.
Staying mysterious, and slightly unavailable seems counter intuitive but its what keeps them wondering. In all honesty, you still need the time apart, your getting there thou.
What I'm happy about is that I controlled myself, validated again, and ended convo. Not really hinging anything on W's actions, they could mean nothing.
