Taking A Stand; What's my Position?

[KdogGS]

In other news, when are you going skydiving?

I'm thinking about doing that too since it's something I would have never done in the past.

[Mimi00]

I think I may do it on the 28th. I want to do it before it gets too cold. I wish I had the idea during the warmer months lol. It makes me nervous thinking about it as I've always had a fear of heights...but it should be fun (i went zip lining in May) A friend was supposed to come with me, but I may end up doing it alone.

[KdogGS]

I have a healthy respect for heights too, but I want to do it soon as well.

Let us know how it goes!

[Mimi00]

Just a reality/progress check/journaling for myself. I started this thread 2 months ago with these goals:

- Exude confidence & really have it on the inside as well - Progress: I am good with this as far as others, I am back to being my confident self instead of feeling so sad and broken from the BD...but with H, when he calls I remain neutral, but probably more on the reserved side b/c I am nervous; i actually dont want to answer when he calls....usually the topics are about him and his progress w/ starting his new life....then when it turns to me and what I am doing... I freeze up, mainly bc most of my time is spent working so i dont have to struggle so much financially but i dont want to say that/dont want him to know that this is hard for me. Also, I feel like I'm being judged by him on if I am still the same old me. So I need to work on this...stop worrying and bring up other subjects where I can show confidence in my knowledge and opinions, move away from the same old "catching up" type of discussions when he calls. I want to try to get our conversations back to feeling normal (atleast for me.....I feel so awkard not being able to say how I really feel etc... this is very unnatural for me to not be open and honest, to not feel free with him)

- Try new things & meet more new people - Progress: I have went to a few Meetup groups. No friendships formed from them yet...but this is a total 180 for me to be comfortable to interact with strangers. I usually need to warm up people for a while....I will continue to push my self in this area. I am set to attend 2 Meetups in November and if I can maintain courage I hope to skydive next week.


- Find a church home I enjoy and re-build my spiritual relationship w/ God- Progress: A few days ago I found a church much closer to where I live (I've been working most sundays and watching online or driving 45 minutes to the one I do enjoy when i am off).I plan to attend this new one next Sunday, if all goes well I want to get involved in various activities. It says on the "about me" on their website that the Pastor's wife is very interested in the restoration of Marriages. I thought that was interesting. Other than that I've been consistent in my Bible reading and listening to uplifting music; which has really helped to change me mentally towards more positive thoughts and being able to stop my negative thoughts when they pop up and shift my thoughts to something else instead of dwelling on the negatives.


- Narrow down what a want to do career wise and stick with it! -Progress: I am starting the book "Purpose Driven Life", its a 40 day "transformation" book to help one find their purpose. Also, I started the base to create a Vision board and will work on it for the next 40 days, while reading.
I have various ideas of what I want to do careerwise, but I want to have a more concrete foundation for my ideas.

[tori2012]

Mimi, thank you for your support on my thread :-)

I'm impressed w how focused you are. Good for you! About the Vision Board, many of the people I help have them but don't manifest their desires either because they don't take action or because their thoughts (when they're not working on the board) are on what is going wrong in their lives or what "can't happen" or what is "too difficult." Read Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Wayne Dyer (when you are ready.)

Keep doing what you're doing. Sending you love.

[Mimi00]

Thanks so much Tori, I will look into that book!

[lostinpgh]

Mimi, some of your posts are like you are actually in my mind! I have some of the very same thoughts as you. When I did talk to my H on the phone the 1 time we have talked since he left, it felt super awkward like a first date and I was scared to tell him I was doing ok! It was like he would think "Oh ok, she doesn't need me!"

I've also been trying to find some new friends who are interested in getting up off the couch and doing stuff. My current friends are all content to just sit around all day and eat. Not that I don't enjoy doing that on occasion, but I'd love to find a running group or something.

Good job on the progress you've made on yourself! I think you are doing great by setting up some goals for yourself here.
Are you going to any IC yourself right now?

It would be cool if we lived near each other but I'm sure the chances of that are slim to none. Its so nice to be able to talk with someone my age who is going through this stuff. None of my friends or family have ever been through anything like this.

I also can't imagine how hard it is to be in a new city with absolutely nobody around that you could really count on. You are doing amazingly well with all that's going on.

[Mimi00]

Thanks for visiting my thread lostinpgh!

No I am not in IC, I was considering it, but then H canceled our independent insurance coverage b/c he's now covered by insurance w/ his new job....and I have none. But I think I'm much better now than I was a few months ago, I really "see" myself in ways I did not before. Maybe in the future something will come about and I'll have the opportunity.

Thanks again for your kind words

[lostinpgh]

I was wondering if you would have a problem because of the insurance.
Well you are definitely doing very well with what you have to work with.

I think the meetup groups are a wonderful idea. What a great way to get out and about and maybe even make some friends eventually.

Keep on keeping on!

[Mimi00]

I did my sky dive today (they had to change my date). It was fun.... not once did I feel fear.... this is from the girl who has allowed fear to run 75% of her life (smh)..... the girl who gets nervous crossing a bridge...the girl whos tempted to grab hold to the passenger beside her on the airplane when there's a slight bump.....she even got teary eyed a few months ago on a slightly high "mountain" trail.......... lol

Total 180...inside and out on this one