Hanging on to the roller coaster

[AJM]

You absolutely did the right thing. Very proud of you.

I think it may help to see how this is not about you but about him. It's difficult, but stay the course. It'll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.


Peace,
AJ

[CallaghanClown]

I'm in full panic mode today. Woke at 4am in a panic. I'm going to sit still and calm down for a while. I've warned my family and close friends, just in case there is any merit in his delusions. I've got to say the hardest thing I'm battling through is the realisation that this isn't even his bottom. He has far to go and I'm already terrified. I know he needs to hit the bottom but I can't even imagine what that looks like. My previous estimation were where we are now, but I can see he's got a while on the roller coaster yet.

Pass the popcorn......

[labug]

Maybe he's not "cuckoo" maybe he's really sick. You should protect yourself and your children.

You can have empathy for him but it doesn't mean your family stays in harms way.

There are times when very strong boundaries are called for.

[LoisB]

Ditto.

If he has made any threats to you or the kids, call the sheriff/police--or even himself. It's important other people are made aware of his condition in order for you to protect the kids.

[CallaghanClown]

No threats against me or the kids. But the fact he said it all to me screams attention. He obviously wants me to help him but I can't. If he was really ready to get help he'd have got it by now.

Fingers crossed he gets there soon. Meanwhile I have to keep remembering to not take anything personally and to get on with my life.

[sayitaintso]

Certainly a tough spot to be in CC and the ride may get bumpier.

I would try to remain as neutral as possible and do whatever you think is safest for yourself and your children.

Hoping your weekend goes OK.

[sayitaintso]

On a brighter note I signed up to a course to teach children with special needs. Something I never thought I would do and a world away from my corporate career, but very rewarding mentally and perfect for childcare.

Awesome!!

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks sayitaintso.

Just spoke to him and he's trying to act all 'normal'. He looked like he'd not slept in a week.

No more focusing on him. This is my time to shine and I'm going to enjoy it.

[tigerlily78]

Wow CC, that must have been scary to have to deal with the death threats, but I agree with job, it looks like you made the best decision you could in the situation.

Give yourself some credit for taking the best course of action in a difficult spot. That is grace under pressure and not all of us have it.

[CallaghanClown]

Meltdown evening. He called again because "I'm the one he has to speak to". I reiterated that its great to hear him talking again. Gave him air time then broke off when it started getting stale.

I want to be there for him because he's heading for rock bottom and if last night happens again I want to be able to call in help (his friend, the police, the crisis team, whoever). Rather that than him killing himself or someone else.

But I think he's leaning on me too much now. How do I get the necessary balance? Become less available?

I feel like he needs to understand what life is like without me in it, but it doesn't seen possible. Young kids, mental illness......I just don't see how it can be done. Advice? I want to concentrate on me......how can I do that when I'm fielding his calls every day?