In what universe...? Part two

[MileHigh]

TTD, I sure know that feeling of thinking you're going to be strong enough to say/do something, and then the moment arrives.... Back in the post BD #1 days, after we started piecing and getting ready to move across the country, I was going to insist W and I go to a one-day session with MWD since we lived near her office (and W, like many WAS, had agreed to 1 counseling session, more for my benefit than hers. I figured since I'd agreed to leave our house and friends/family to go somewhere she didn't even have any friends/family, it wasn't asking too much.... But, I never did work up the courage.

I can empathize with your H, but given my long struggle with debt, and all the while not having full cooperation from W, and with her WAS episodes and moving around chasing dreams we can't catch adding thousands to it... I just can't feel too sympathetic. I'm sure his MLC is not helping either of you financially!

For some reason the water bill for the new house arrived here. I may just pay it, because anything I make W pay just ends up costing me, anyway. If she doesn't have the money, it goes on the CC! Still don't have the money raised for taxes on both places and their due very soon.

[TryingToDo180]

I'm managing more than H is, I'm proud to say I've never owned a CC in my life I once owned a store card, but got in debt with that and luckily it wasn't that much! Since then it's always scared me to get in that much debt. H has always said it's both our debts, but he's the one who wants all the latest gadgets and games consoles, etc.
I do feel sorry for him even though I shouldn't. It's his mess that he's got himself into and I've warned him about this before. Of course, he sees this as nagging! lol.
It's only going to get harder for him when the benefits come round to check up on him this week. I hope it doesn't backfire on me and he gives me even more grief. I think I'll ignore the phone on thursday or just switch it off altogether

[Not Quitting]

I no longer have a CC - debt settlement plan took care of that. Of course I have no credit rating either as a result. The debt counsellor has recommended that I do get a secured CC as it will help rebuild my credit, but I'm not ready to take that step yet. Of course, H didn't pay any attention to anything we were told when we first applied for the debt settlement. Almost as soon as we handed over all our CCs for inclusion in the plan, he went to his bank and applied for a new CC. Having a friend as the bank manager helped over-ride the fact that he has no credit rating now. He's already building up his CC debt. Some people never learn

The debt settlement was the best thing we ever did. We got ourselves in debt firstly by being forced to buy a car before we were really in a position to do so (my company relocated out of town, and off public transit routes) and then by me getting laid off when I was the main earner. Had to rely on line of credit and CCs to get through the month. Now we have one small monthly payment and I'm actually managing to put a small amount into my savings each month, and I'm managing without a CC as well .

[hotwheelsaust]

Best thing I/we ever did, was get rid of the credit cards. Many years of using them for all the wrong reasons. When we got the last home loans, the bank insisted that the credit card was paid out as well. It got done, thank goodness.
Mind you as soon as we got the home loan and no credit cards, part of the bank loan package was a credit card. Get real. Haven't touched a credit card for 5 years now. Have a visa debit card matched to the bank account, so I can pay for things with credit. But it can only use the money already in the account.

[TryingToDo180]

Time to lighten the mood I've just come in from a bonfire night with the youth club. Got the radiators on, the gas fire on and the heater blowing hot air out in my conservatory I'm sat here sipping a glass of cold spritzer, lol. Go figure!
It was freezing out there tonight. Everyone over here says why couldn't Guy Fawkes try to blow up parliament in the summer, lol. Same goes for Remembrance Sunday as well, we should have that in the summer as well. In fact we should just hybernate in the winter and not have to go anywhere
Finally got a phone call from women's support I'm seeing them a week on Friday I wish it was sooner though! I still can't think of what to say to H when he phones

[Not Quitting]

Aaah, bonfire night - not done over here though. Today is the 10th anniversary of us leaving England - yep, we flew out on bonfire night. H actually said "happy anniversary" this evening when he popped by to pick up his suit. As it's also the anniversary of him meeting OW I had no intention of saying anything at all to him.

Glad to hear the women's support group has been in touch. The time will go quickly and your appointment will be here before you know it .

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks NQ Still getting positive signs from your H I see I've thought of something to say to H when he next phones up, I can tell him that I've more important things to worry about at the mo such as my health! I've still got to find out what's caused the bleeding. I think I am pre-menopausal, but I've still got to go and get it checked out.

[Not Quitting]

Thanks NQ Still getting positive signs from your H I see I've thought of something to say to H when he next phones up, I can tell him that I've more important things to worry about at the mo such as my health! I've still got to find out what's caused the bleeding. I think I am pre-menopausal, but I've still got to go and get it checked out.

How about you don't mention it at all unless he does, then tell him that you've got more important things on your mind .

Just an idea, but have you spoken to your mum about how old she was when she went into menopause - that's if she'll talk about it with you. It may help give you an idea of whether you are pre-menopausal. I couldn't do that with my mum as she was having radiation treatment when she was my age and that caused her to go into menopause artificially. And that is one question my doctor asked last time I had a check-up.

[TryingToDo180]

Yes I've spoken to my mum before she went on holiday as I'd had my suspicions then. She said she was 53 when she went into menopause, but it was that long ago she can't remember much about it. She can't remember the heavy bleeding which is strange
I won't mention it unless h brings it up, but I know he will! I know I'm mind reading, but I know what he's like! He's in severe debt at the mo and can't find a way out of it apart from selling the house or me buying him out. I've given him a solution but he doesn't think there's any point going to the advice centre. I'm going to go though and report back to him when he brings up the money again. I'm sure they will be able to help, especially now that he's not living here and selling the house is not an option. At the moment, all I can do is see what happens!

[TryingToDo180]

I think there's a conspiracy against me at the mo, lol. For some reason I can't get any appts for this week which is strange. I've tried to ring the advice centre in both my town and the nearby town and I can't get through! Maybe God doesn't want me to have an appt for some reason this week, lol. I can't even get a docs appt this week either! I'm going to have a very busy week next week though.