I've looked at life from both sides now

[job]

Raine,
You've had some huge developments in your situation and they all look positive. If he wants you to ask questions, then do so.

What he told you about the BD and the anger is very much spot on. That anger is something that they really don't know why they have it, but they do and it does spur them on to their destructive paths. He's being very honest w/you about that.

Take things slowly and remember...the old marriage is gone/dead. You are now entering into a new one w/people who have traveled difficult roads and neither of you will ever be the same. Keep those expectations at zero at all times because he's going to need your compassion and understanding in the days ahead. His new self is still very fragile and like a baby learning to walk...he's going to need to know you are there, but not judging him for makes mistakes and stumbling along until his legs are stronger.

I'm happy to hear that he apologized.

Hang in there!

[RosaLinda]

Holy crumbs Raine, you H is really thinking. I am so glad you received the apology you have been craving, my friend. It is good to hear that H realizes what he has put you through. That he can recognize the baseless anger, the oblivion. Even though his timeline does not line up with yours, that might just some MLC memory glitch, and not deception. He sounds as if he is being as honest and open as he can. 

You are a good wife Raine. A great mom. A good DBer. I'm glad it's working out for you! Job had great advice for you, and for all of us. Take a deep breath, and hang in there!

[Wonka]

Hey my partner in crime!!!

Sounds like a lot is shifting under your feet and it points to recovering from the pain onward to a renewed M. I think it is immense that H apologized at this early stage...I honestly thought it would happen much later. Nice to be pleasantly surprised in this department.

As I indicated earlier, I will post some thoughts from the MLCer perspective. I'm holding off on this with deliberate purpose as I didn't want to inundate your thread with a barrage of information as I suspected that you may have a lot going on as it is.

This is your journey and I'm cheering you on along the process.

You've got this, Raine baby!!!

[Raine]

Thanks job, Linda, and Wonka You guys are the best. I'll need to get a new thread started with the next half of the update.

Teaser for job: the bags in the closet will be a highlight...just saying.

Awesome advice my friends Thank you so much.

That's part of my difficulty with all of this is he seems to be moving so fast. I'm not expecting an apology. I'm not expecting him to be opening up. He keeps surprising me and catching me off guard.

[Ambivalent]

Raine,

I read a bit about your thoughts on transparency.

Just recently I've been reading " Love Busters "

There is a chapter on lying AND a chapter on surviving infidelity.

I don't know if you've already read it, but I found it poignant.

Congratulations on your new situation.

[Raine]

Thanks Ambivalent! I ordered the book.

New thread: Don't Break Character