Welcome to the boards Gid, sorry you're here. You will find loads of support and friendship and even humor here.
You talked to the OM? How'd that go?
Thanks. Actually i talked to him more than once. When he became friend with my mlcer, I warned him that she was in midlife crisis. I Also i explained him that it was some kind of a psychological process. I requested him to keep away from her, since her feelings were temporary. He didn't believe me and told me that there was nothing wrong with her psychology. He kept being with her. But 2-3 weeks ago, when he realized that she had something wrong (She cried and told him about harming herself), he called me to meet somewhere. He asked me what was wrong with her. I tried to explain what i know. I told him to support her. He now believes me.
"1 year timeframe is not enough for her to come out of the tunnel."
What makes you say that? An MLC can last anywhere from a few months to several years. Depends on the personal growth of the individual.
When my mlcer left her job (about 7 months ago), she was very low. She told me that what she changed in her life didn't work. She apologized for what she has done. I thought that midlife crisis ended. But soon after, she changed her mind and deepened her relationship with the OM. She started again accusing me for everything. I think she avoided hitting rock bottom and went back to the replay. Now she wants to return. But i am not sure about if this idea is temporary, or she will go back to replay again. I want to see the consistency. I can't do much now since she is married to OM.
You can't stop her from going into Replay. She has to make a choice to not go that route. Don't enable her and just continue to live your life. You have to see ACTION from her and not just lip service. If she tells you she's changed, etc. Just be honest and say that you don't trust her and need to see a plan from her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
She broke up with the om (her new husband) this week. Next week she will divorce. We are reconnecting. She is severly depressed. She's started anti-depressants. She is quite aware that what she had done during replay was nonsense. She always tells me that she loves me too much and that she is very sorry for what she did. Generally she wants to be alone now. She has a very serious childhood issues. Two days ago she told me what her childhood issues was. She never thought that what she is experiencing now is related to her childhood. I told her to deal with this inner problem to become a full person. She wants to heal. She is in depression or withdrawal state. I don't think that she will go back to replay because she is quite sure that the things that make her high is only temporary. And she knows that the problem is inside her mind. I hope she heals from it as soon as possible. She is taking professional psychological support for that.
Wow, what a turn of events. I don’t remember any storied like this on this site. If she is in withdrawal or depression, she still has a long way to go. What does the reconnection look like? Do you talk on a regular basis? Does she initiate?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Wow, what a turn of events. I don’t remember any storied like this on this site. If she is in withdrawal or depression, she still has a long way to go. What does the reconnection look like? Do you talk on a regular basis? Does she initiate?
Actually she is not done yet. MLC still in progress. She will stay with her mother. She can't live at our home right now. But she always wants to be with me. She calls me everyday. We meet in the evenings. Hugs me. Says that she is in love with me. At the start of her MLC, she asked me to find someone else and marry with her. She offered me some names . She thought that she has nothing to do with me. But now, just the opposite. She asked every girl/woman that she don't know in my facebook friend list. Ask questions about them. Very jealous. This MLC is really strange.
We are together now. She lives at our home. She is taking psychotheraphy. She reads books. (Carl Jung, Debbie Ford, Shadow self, Facing the shadow, Spirutal growth)
Although we are still doing fine generally, there are some days which make her being suicidal. She feels worthless. She thinks that life does not worth living. She takes antidepressants.
. She thought that she has nothing to do with me. But now, just the opposite. She asked every girl/woman that she don't know in my facebook friend list. Ask questions about them. Very jealous. This MLC is really strange.