Why not? What if we want to help our MLC'er who messed up their entire life, or maybe even be with them again. Please explain.
Rescuing and FIXING are co-dependent behaviors and the MLC'er needs to work through their issues on their own, if they wanted help they would ask you for it and not push you away or try to divorce you.
Best way to help is to LET GO and stop pursuit. If this is meant to be then they will pursue us again in the future.
Well, according to G's original post, she did ask.
Quote:
My MLCer wants to return home now. 1 year have passed since bomb drop. She regrets everything she did, she can't forgive herself for the things that she did. She is quite depressed. Crying and saying that she will harm herself. Asking for help. She doesn't know what to do.
You would turn her away? Seems too cold for me no matter how you want to label the behavior.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Also part of why I said this was that she was 1 year from bomb drop. Odds of her being done with her MLC are slim, I had something very similar happen to me around this time frame and then back into the tunnel she went. Rescuing is not going to save her. I would guess anything under 2 years from BD is still part of REPLAY behavior.
Actually i just want to wait and see. Because as Cadet mentioned, 1 year timeframe is not enough for her to come out of the tunnel. I just told the OM to support her when she is depressed. Because she is married to him now.
